A Christian fiction of sorts, kind of similar to, "So You Don't Want To Go To Church Any More.". Nothing deep.... but made me stop and look at some of the insanity performace, without connection.
I know, the titles really turn off judgmental, rabid, fundamentalist type people. Because, unlike most of us, they can judge a book by its cover. If any book even sounds like it will question anything, in the totality of their church experience, or view as is, hook line and sinker, with absolutely no modification....she's toast.
I'm not a fan of fiction, never have been. It should not drive our theology, but it should drive our imagination. Because imagination and encounter causes me to wrestle with my theology. That, unbeknown to fundamentalist evangelicals, is a good "Borean" process.
"Therefore, as a coal mine breaks the body, so the hardening of Mike's heart—and the excessive maintenance required to keep it that way—had broken his soul. Mike was far from alone in this sort of predicament; in fact, his case was not particularly striking in any way- There are those who are contorted in extreme ways, driven by the uncontrollable need to hide the insidious process going on in their inner-most workings. (The Bastard Tree. M. C. Lang. Pg 170)Anyway, this line was insightful, as I have been in a process too, and hiding it from "the box" church people. Not because I'm ashamed, or see any theological concerns with where I am. Simply put, this hiding is almost always mandatory, if you don't want to be slaughtered while you go through it.
Because to most fundamentalist evangelicals, the only reasonable and acceptable end resolution is for you fall back in line with them, conform to things as is in the church practice and life, and stop going down that other path. Just fall back in line, see and do church like this, be a good hard working servant robot of the church program system, because this it baby, this is what it is all about.
Is the process going on inside insidious? Depends who you ask. My theology has changed little in this process (is that good or bad). However, how I relate to the operation or management of the church program machinery, and church expression has changed dramatically. How I relate people now is very different.
I'm growing tired of hiding my process. I no longer hide it. But neither do I talk about it freely to churchy people in the circles I once was deeply part of. They have colored glasses (Like mine), and little or no vocabulary to discuss this. What I find is that , they really have no theological issue with where i am.... However, if they take even a peak at this, it "undoes" them so much, they either have to slam the door shut for good (most common reaction) and not go there. As if they entertain this simplicity and freedom, while retaining doctrinal integrity they see in this life, it totally takes the wind out of their sails too. The wind is gone for the machinery management. And for those who's pay, and career is built on this system. Well, to look will undo everything for them. So they just can't go there. Or if they do....they admit this system is exhausting and out of balance. It undoes them.... Seems to be one or the other reaction. Not much in between.....
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