This is about how I feel about it all too...
Yes # 10 Is me too... (Insert your judgement here).....
#3 is the biggie for me too. #5 is alarming.... Number #2
makes me wonder why we have to figure it out for them.... push them to their
spiritual work and seeking. They should be doing that spiritual work for
themselves, and be developing that kind of spiritual outlook on life where they
seek. Me taking that away from them, and replacing the Spirits voice for my
guidance, I think is a huge part of how we silence the "Spirit" in
church culture by running ahead to help....... I'm sitting here as a trained
theologian.... I rarely understand the dynamics of what most other fields
entail, I don't think i can tell them how can I decide how to best plug them
in, and if I could I'm to the place I don't feel I should until they are
hearing and sensing from Christ how and where to move on that stuff. .....?????
And I agree with #1 Totally as well.
by Shaun King
A powerful look at church from the outside by a former
pastor.
(This post has not been edited for errors. These are my raw, honest thoughts. In a
hurry? Scroll down for my 10
observations.)
I didn’t grow up in church.
It wasn’t until I was assaulted in high school and required
several spinal surgeries that I even knew I needed God. But from 1996-2011, from the time I was 16
until I was 31, church was CENTRAL to my life personally and
professionally. I became a church
insider almost instantly. Here is a bit
of my church history…
At the age of 16 I was baptized @ Antioch Baptist Church in
Lexington, KY by my best friends dad, Willis Polk
At the age of 17 I was licensed to preach by Willis Polk at
his new church, Imani Baptist Church
At the age of 17 I moved to Atlanta. My first mentor in Atlanta was Howard Creecy,
the chaplain of the city of Atlanta and pastor of an urban church – St. Peter
Baptist Church.
At the age of 18 I decided I wanted to be like a man named
Dr. Aaron Parker. I revered this
dude. He was a religion professor @
Morehouse College and a local pastor of Zion Hill Baptist Church.
At the age of 18 I started preaching all over the country and
became active @ Zion Hill Baptist Church
At the age of 22 I visited Union Theological Seminary in NYC
and thought long and hard about going there for my Master of Divinity.
At the age of 23 I started attending Total Grace Christian
Center after several friends of mine from Morehouse and Spelman insisted it was
an amazing place. The pastor, Johnathan
Alvarado, whom I have since spoken out against very strongly, was actually
great to me during most of time there and put me on the fast track to leadership. I was ordained as a pastor by him, became his
personal assistant, and eventually helped launch a new campus of the church.
At the age of 25 I was approved and trained by the
Evangelical Covenant Church denomination to become a church planter.
At the age of 28 I was approved and trained by ARC
(Association of Related Churches) to become a church planter.
At the age of 29 I launched Courageous Church in downtown
Atlanta. I thought I’d pastor there
forever. It sounds crazy to me now, but I loved that church and the
people. I’d do so many things
differently if I could do it all over again. We had something special there.
In 2011 I stepped down from my role as Pastor of Courageous
Church. Man that hurt.
———
In the nearly 2 years since then I’ve visited a lot of
churches with my family.
We’ve visited churches we’ve heard about for years, places
we just learned about on the fly, we’ve sat in the balcony and down front,
we’ve been to churches of all cultures and backgrounds, we’ve tried out all of
the children’s ministries, we’ve seen church every way you can make it in
America.
We’ve lived in California, Kentucky, and New York these past
2 years and have pretty much seen it all.
All of that considered, I have 10 observations that I’d love to share.
I like to always give this stipulation when I offer what may
sound like a self-righteous critique of church. I love the Church. I love God.
I am flawed. This is not me saying I’m perfect and that the church sucks. With
that said, here goes…
10 Honest Observations of Church Now that I am an Outsider
10. This is going
to sound terrible, but I’m surprised how little church means to me now that I’m
not a church insider.
(Yep, it's where i'm at)
When I was a
church insider, I operated under the assumption that what we were offering
people was going to fill some deep gap that they had and knew that they had,
but now that I am a church outsider, I’m a perfectly content guy. I don’t feel
like something is missing. Maybe it is, but it doesn’t feel that way.
I think pastors
and church leaders too often assume that people that don’t show up on Sunday
are lonely or deficient in some way, but it’s just not the case in my world and
probably isn’t the case with others. I listed this
first because I think if I knew that people felt that way when I was a pastor I
would have offered them something different and talked to them differently.
It changes
everything.
9. Most church
nurseries stink.
I mean like
outrageous funk hits you in the face right away type of stink. They smell like
crap and instantly make me not want to drop my baby off there.
Listen, I know
diapers are changed there, but I’ve seen it done where it doesn’t smell like an
old man crapped on the floor. Dropping a baby off to strangers is already a
weird and difficult proposition – please dispose of the diapers in a close
container and use air freshener.
8. I’ve gotten
lost in every church I’ve ever attended.
I can’t find the
bathrooms, I can’t find where to drop off the kids, and when I find the
bathrooms and where to drop off the kids, I can’t find my way back to my seat.
Directional signs
are SO DOGGONE CHEAP. You can seriously go as cheap as laminating some paper
and taping them on the walls or go super fancy and have them professionally
done. Just do it.
7. The sermons are
rarely memorable.
This is a huge
problem because in every church we’ve visited the sermon is clearly designed to
be the crescendo/centerpiece of the entire service.
I won’t tell you
where we went last, but I can’t tell you even one sentence from the sermon and
I listened the whole doggone time.
6. In my church
training, I always learned that parents will go to a church that they like just
a little bit if the kids LOVE it...
But that parents
will leave a church they like a lot if the kids don’t like it.
It’s true. I preferred one church in New York personally
but the kids didn’t like it at all. We went back one
time. The kids didn’t like it again. I love it. We never went back.
DOUBLE DOWN ON
WHAT YOU DO FOR KIDS. Make it even bigger and better than what you do for
adults!!
5. I honestly
don’t remember if I acted this way when I was a pastor, but I’ve had a few
pastors act really weird over their church members volunteering to help with
something I was leading outside of the church.
(I find this ALARMING, sick, and Sad. AJ)
Each time it
baffled me. Don’t act like you own your members. I’m not going to start a
church with them. They can volunteer outside of your church.
It’s healthy.
Don’t be weird and don’t act so insecure fellas.
4. When I pastored
Courageous Church we spent an outrageous amount of time on announcements.
I was slightly
aware that we spoke of our announcements too many times. Now that I am on the
other end of things, IT IS CRAZY. Don’t have an
announcement video, then an announcement flyer, then have the pastor restate
all of the announcements, then have a host come do it at the end. Cut almost all of
it out.
Do it once and
have a flyer. If the pastor has to emphasize something, have them only say
something about one thing, but my guess is that unless it’s urgent, let the
pastor just preach. It goes in one ear and out the other, it drags the service
on an extra half an hour, and it’s just not effective.
3. I feel like I’m
going back in time when I go to most churches.
(Yep.... so out of touch with Modern Technology, some even ban it's use, and frankly even the hippest churches services seem contrived and out of date to me, because it comes across as so artificial, and it is as we are trying to fabricate something. AJ)
Listen, I know God
is unchanging, but the world changes.
I hear pastors
make illustrations with references from the 80s that go right over people’s
heads.
I hear music that
was popular in the 90s (which is getting to be a long time ago).
A ton of churches
make zero references to social media during the services, but it’s a big part
of people’s lives. I hate to say this,
but when I visited some churches, it felt just like it did when I visited them
10 years ago and gave me very little motivation to go back.
2. Most churches
have NO IDEA what to do with the true skills and gifts that men and women
have...
(Da....they can't figure that out as highly skilled professionals with a thinking mind and a Jesus heart? Why do I need to figure it out for them. They know how best to help and love people with their skills Go do it, use it... Don't wait for me to create it for you in an artificial environment of the church. And I should not have to prod you to serve others in love. That is a sign of real spiritual lethargy. (Part of the issue is we think we have to reign what people to it into the church walls, and under that umbrella before it's "church service" ). This baby coddling approach to Spirituality is what makes us into little babies who can't think for ourselves, are not in touch with Jesus and the spirit enough to sense his movements and promptings in our life, so we take the easy road in church and ask a special human "God Agent" to tell us what to do. That is scarey to me actually. AJ)
if they don’t
involve singing, doing camera work, or running lyrics on a laptop.
I rarely feel
challenged in church and rarely hear of any opportunities to use any of my
skills, gifts, or talents in a remotely meaningful way. I am sure people felt
this way when I was a pastor as well, but it totally went over my head.
Your church is
full of smart, experienced, skilled people. It’s OK for them to be ushers and
greeters, but if somebody is an expert at something, take the time to figure
out how to use that.
It will engage
them on a deep level and make the commit like never before.
1. All of that
said, I’m still so proud of you pastors.
(Yep. The toughest job there is.... and MANY (MOST) pay a huge price for being one too. The way most people view their pastor and set him up as some super human, and what we expect him to be like, and do, at all times.... is impossible. It's killing them, and we have no freaking clue we are doing it, and don't care to change it anyway.... 99% of you reading this have no idea the burden your pastor bares. You certainly are not going to try and change it. Want to help your pastor? Grow up and take chare of your own spiritual life... you can do it... Jesus is right there in the room with you.
Stop trying to do events to attract people to church, and go minister to the people you know outside of the church building where he does not have to be part of managing it. And treat him the same way you do any Ho-joe Christian you know on the street... He is no more holy, no more gifted, and no more special.... and he will tell you that. He's tired trying to live up to your foolish fake image. He's tired of not being able to be himself, without judgment and consequences. He's been taught that to let his guard down on this means he will get shot too. Don't shot him. AJ)
Your work is so
important, but so hard and it can be nearly impossible to get outside of your
bubble to know what the world truly thinks and feels.
I am rooting for
you in every way!
No comments:
Post a Comment