Is God A Great Big Bully?

We talk about God as being good, but then some of the things we say he does.... Well, if a human father was like some of this stuff we ascribe to God,  we would call that human father negligent, abusive, nasty and mean. So I really wonder if we have our theology right on a few concepts.
The more I live my life outside the box, immersed in my Canadian "field", the more I realize people are wondering why we would call God good, if he is like what I am teaching? The more I have stepped back, we say God is good, God is love, but we teach from a set of lenses that make God look more like a big hateful, vindictive bully. Unless you step it up to please him, there is hell to pay. This cartoon and the list of the qualities of a bully should make us reexamine our words a bit. Are we really doing God justice, or are we showing him to be a big bully? Check this link out for the cartoon image.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nakedpastor/2013/04/is-god-a-great-big-bully/

Here are some characteristics of a bully:

1. Lacks empathy for others.

2. Needs to control others.

3. Gets angry quickly.

4. Constantly reminds others of their weaknesses.

5. Picks on those who don’t comply to his expectations.

6. Makes others afraid through threats.

7. Uses physical aggression to intimidate and control.

8. Defies any who would share or correct his power.

We’ve probably all been bullied. It is a popular sport in school. When our kids encountered bullying, we would ask these questions:

1. Does he scare you?

2. Does he make you cry?

3. Does he embarrass you?

4. Does he make you feel weak?

5. Does he make you do things you don’t want?

6. Does he exclude you from groups?

7. Does he make you feel there is no one to go to for help?

8. Does he make your life miserable?

Disney Had The Answer To Worship......?

"If you have any semblance of modern, band-driven worship, I guarantee you’ve had complaints about volume. I had a guy who would stick toilet paper in his ears every week and obnoxiously pace the foyer during the music set. So what’s the perfect volume? In this case, Disney has the answer. Disney seems to have a knack for managing expectations and providing the best user experience on the planet. They can teach us a thing or two about worship." (Jordan Richmond)

 This article would be so amazing to people in that game. However, I found this article widened my eyes a bit.

1. We let church mechanics dominate our Life too much. I was there. Every story, every encounter, every down moment with family, with anyone, still had me scurrying to jot down random experiences or thoughts for my sermon or Bible study. Can't loose those precious thoughts.... the church will be wowed by them.... Looking back, and though very supportive, and never complaining, i don't think my family was wowed by them and why should they be proud of me for this? How can you be in the moment like that when you're planning ahead for the church stuff? Just savor the thoughts for what they are, and do not let it distract us from the precious people (they are the church too) in front of us. But dude, really, out scanning decibels at Disney land with your family? Like a 10 second internet search could not tell us already where the volume should be. It's not good dude, life is out of wack and you will look back at this and be sorry. Sure, Jesus is a 24/7 journey, but church operation mechanics is not, and does not deserve your family time. If we are having trouble turning that stuff off (I did, in that stage of life too), it's a sign we need some help with balance.  

2. Disney can't teach us about worship- only marketing and volume decibels Beside the fact that this is a total misuse of the term worship, when we reference an event. The NT never uses the word worship to refer to a gathering event. That event container is too small for the rich full bodied meaning of worship. Worship is all of life lived out in the reality, and for the glory of God....not merely singing songs on Sunday.

 3. We really despise people who will not go along with our show. Hey, when we have a plan, a vision (an agenda) we wish to accomplish, it's REALLY annoying when people will not fall in line with it (control issues) When i was immersed in that church culture I felt it too. People as individuals become less important than our fixation with accomplishing the end goal we are driving toward that will securely establish our greatness and assure a ...ahem....."legacy". Our new leadership paradigms (CEO) really have no love for anyone who will not fall in line. Even if it's causing them pain, they never have a good enough reason for me, and certainly should not have the right to not go along because they are poor team players, negative, subversive. This new leadership would just rather you go away, and they will tell you so too. The way he referred to the guy in the hall.... ya those kind of "followers" really piss off those kind of "leaders", make no mistake about it, there is nothing spiritual about it either. Leaders get nasty with hippie followers, because they can't herd them.

Maybe the guys ears are sensitive... I have a son like this, and it causes him discomfort and he needs to leave some places. And it's not an unusual thing for people. The guy came to church each week. He steps out for the problematic volume issue. He has been in the church conformity box long enough to know that you think he is an ass, and standing out there he feels like an ass too, why he nervously paces... he knows what people are thinking too, and he's not wrong either. Everyone will also be an ass in how they relate and speak about him now. Maybe he just does not like it, and how he expresses it is making him an ass. But what should he do? If the volume bothers him, is it not permissible to step out for a bit? What do we care? What sweat off our nose, other than the fact it pisses us off, and we are uncomfortable about it? Ya I know...sit down and blend in, put on the spiritual church camo, or go away. ;-) Yes, for us the show is sold as a message from heaven, so he dare not miss it. That music, well you can't grow in any fashion as a believer without hearing it, so Sit in, take the pain, and be a good little church soldier boy, and support this, at all cost, at all points, because it's not about you...... It's about....... Gooooooo..........the machinery. ;-)

 Bottom line, we want conformity, and uniformity, and we will run over anyone perceived to stand in the way. We don't have time for dissenters. Anyway, I'm not bashing this guy....this guy is me.....

However, if this guy happens to stumble on this some day ( like... NOT EVER). Dude, you will look back some day and experience a very tired feeling, maybe even a little sad feeling, about how we lived for the machinery and thought about the church machinery instead of being fully there in our relationships with our wife and kids, anyone for that matter. I thought I was balancing it well too. I was being the good little CEO. My wife never had complaints either. But we both look back and wonder why we lived that life, a life where we could never sit and just be, smell the roses, and soak in the beautiful sky, and just be....with our kids and each other, basking in the now of relationships and time spent with people. I know, you think this is important Kingdom work, habits, and thoughts. I know, you think you have it under control, but you don't. It is controlling you.

Few Rules.... Welcome Changes...Staggering Differences

"In vain I have searched the Bible, looking for examples of early believers whose lives were marked by rigidity, predictability, inhibition, dullness, and caution. Fortunately, grim, frowning, joyless saints in Scriptures are conspicuous by their absence. Instead, the examples I find are of adventurous, risk-taking, enthusiastic, and authentic believers whose joy was contagious even in times of full trial. Their vision was broad even when death drew near. Rules were few and changes were welcome. The contrast between then and now is staggering."

(Charles Swindoll)

Am I Really Known.... the false me

"Living out of the false self creates a compulsive desire to present a perfect image to the public so that everybody will admire us and nobody will know us.“ (Brennan Manning)

Are you in love?

"A believer, after all, is someone in love." (Sore Kierkegaard)

There is A Time To Dance..... It is now

I'm not a very "feely" guy as a burly 250 lbs fishing Captain and humanitarian NGO. Or am I? And I am as awkward as a fish ....well, a fish out of water, when I dance. But this moved me, as the dance of life was lost to me for many years, but I did not know it at the time. You can only see it looking back. Religion robbed me of the ability to enjoy. But these days I just want to dance.... just shut up and dance. Stop talking, stop analyzing, and be in the now of the experience the Father gave me now, today.

"The dance of Christ is a world dance........ The time is now, and the dance is eternal. Don't sit this dance out. Life is a speedy season. Buds burst in smelly spring; fruits delight in fertile summer. Leaves change colors in inflamed autumn. Trees fall in whitened winter. Dance while you can. The world doesn't need more conversation so much as it needs more dancing. When heart speaks unto heart......"

Heaven is Not For Hire

"Heaven is much too serious a place for work. It will be all dance and play there."
(C. S. Lewis)

As good little church soldiers, does this compute? I believed my duty, my obligations to jobs NEEDING to be done, was the important work. Then some where along the line i realized greasing the wheels is not the important stuff at all. The important stuff is the way we love, dance, and play with others, and God  in redemptive relationships.  Funny Jesus all the commands are summed up in that too.

Western Church Discipleship Models Have Been Tested & Failed!

(I originally published this in 2009)The true success of our church discipleship is found in the litmus test of our very own born-and-raised" evangelical church kids. I'm not speaking about evangelism outside the church. I'm talking about our own glaring inability to transfer faith within the family unit. Consider the following:

"Every year, hundreds of thousands of American evangelical young people lose their faith while attending college: An estimated 65% (My Note: This is very conservative estimate. I have seen studies that suggest 75%). Here they are confronted with a secular humanist world view, often anti-Christian, which they have not been prepared to engage. Next year a new batch will be sent, and this spiritual holocaust will go right on with few people seeking to do anything about it.

Now why is that? And what is the real problem? Could it be that we are merely entertaining our young people in youth groups across the country instead of disciplining them? On the other side, why can almost all of our great Christian leaders point to someone in their life who mentored them in faith? Is there a connection here? Many missiologists believe so....

What kind of Christianity are we seeking to establish around the world? Is it a copy of our own- one in which we can't even keep our own young people who have been raised in Christian Homes"

(Discipling All Peoples: Today's Imperative and Vision of Tokyo 2010. David Taylor. Mission Frontiers, September-October 2009 vol. 31, No. 5. US Center For World Mission)
Interestingly, home-schooled kids have a 95% faith retention rate when they go off to college and university. We can not pass this off as merely "Sheltering", becuase once these kids are out of the nest, they are exposed to the same secular humanism and challenges in university and college.

So, if home-schooled kids are exposed to the same influences in university, why the amazing success? The difference is found in the type of discipleship the kids have received at home. They have not been brainwashed, but rather "mentored" in a very effective manner. Rather than sheltered, most have actually been exposed to the fallacies of secular arguments and ideologies, and been given adequate Christian answers and tools by which to measure the philosophies they encounter with a Christian World view.

The home-schoolers success rate in transmitting their faith to their children is so impressive, that non-homeschooling Christians best not criticize them. Their mentoring discipleship approach is working much better than the methodology the average christian family or church is using- or not using.

Effective discipleship involves more than just transmission of "information". But also requiring Relation, Conversation, and Assisted Application. Unfortunately, the only conversation most kids get about Jesus is, "Great ready for Sunday School or Youth Group". But little actual mentoring from many christian parents or church staff.

Don't Ask Me Questions... It Compromises My Control.........

"Do you see how the mere thought of questioning this uniformity inspires panic in you? How could that be the work of God? There's no room for honesty there, and communion needs honesty. He desires deep relationship with you. God doesn't mind you asking hard questions. It's usually men who mind, for it challenges their control."

Gray's comment to Michael in "The Bastard Tree", by M. C. Lang)

Tin Man

He put on a great show when I dropped a few coins.

Tin man reminded me of how people become controlled by invisible strings attached at every point by institutionalism and you perform for them like an anonymous Tin Man. We have to act, participate, help put on their show, but who really knows you? Who really has time for you? Who really sees YOU for who you are after the coin show is over? Who lets you into their lives so you can love them too?  Tin Men.... putting on the show. But no one ever knows the real man, and he never really knows you. But hey, what a great show.......... right!

Pastor Moves From Traditional Church to Find Church.. He asks.. "Where Is The Church? I'm Looking or The Church!"

Very insightful..... where has the church gone? What happened to us serving "One Another", its a NT theme.... We come for what we can get... Where is the church, this pastor says he could not find it...? This Minister moved from being a traditional Pastor..... looking for "the Church" ... There are 35 house churches in Fredericton area in New Brunswick..... and many on PEI too. This man, a former pastor like myself, is from Fredericton NB.... and he has a great challenge about how to live as body of Christ Jesus....

NBC Reports on Growing House Church Movement

Great news report.... Informative.... While most in church have rarely heard of house churches, they are growing so fast in number and participants, that they will be the majority church in North America by 2025 George Barna says...


Great Summary of Simple Church..... Where its heading... Are House Churches good or Bad?

Retooling Church.... Don't Be Tooling Around!

"I was just on the phone with an episcopal priest, a rector......They've retooled everything to help their folks figure out how to be church all week long. ... so Sunday is there now to serve the rest of the week, not the rest of the week to serve Sunday. Now they are releasing the this social capital of their people...." 

(Reggie McNeil. Interview on "Catalyst Podcast April 8th")

Money Grubbing Church!

Read the quote below - Forget what I have to say if you must!

Almost every passage in the NT we use for teaching giving, interestingly sees the giving to meet peoples physical needs. However, today churches do it the temple way; Throw your money in the "temple box" for the support of the temple functions and to support the priests who run and manage it all. Give and let the "Priests" manage it. We grew up and were taught we are to give "Tithes" to the LOCAL church, to support the church. 90% of which goes to pay staff and building etc, just like the OT temple structure.

What we do in church today is actually more reflective of OT "stuff", than NT church practice.
I have even heard it said that we have to "Give up Control" of what we give, to truly give it to God???? Wait, I get it! WE give it up, and YOU get to control it- church leaders. How about you giving up control too?

Where did this crazy idea come form? Not the NT! The people who gave in the NT passages always knew what they were giving to. They could gauge there level of generosity by the nature of the expressed, and KNOWN, need.

So here, frankly, is how it actually works! You give generously to the church, give up control, the leaders then control it for their purposes, to support their vision, whether you agree with that use or not, but no one asks you how they can help support your ministry to others, and that is just the way it is. Do you "have to" give up "control" of your kingdom generosity?
Let me just say this, NOPE! You always get to decide where to support the kingdom in the NT, its always voluntary, what you decide, where you decide to give. It's not like the "Temple" at all.

I noticed this after 20 years of ministry. I give sacrificially to the local church, and many times had little left to help people around me, the mission field around me. For example: I gave very generously to my local church one month and found out a family member was going to have their power shut off. But I had nothing left to give - I man nothing, notta, in the bank. There was no way I could have done both. I would have done both if I could have. Looking after family is required, and I would be worse than an unbeliever if I did not do that. But in "Christendom" the institution superseeds the the individual, and his family.

Are you still with me? So, we give to the church, thinking they use the funds to minister to the people around me.......... right........ well we know better than that. Simple fact for us all is that the local church does beans for the people around us. In that "temple" system of giving, it's about letting the leaders (Priests) decide, not what needs are before us, as the "Priesthood of all believers". Leaders want us to pay for their ministry ideas, but they don't even know, nor care, frankly, about our mission field. Why is that? It's all spent on the "Stuff". They can't afford to see what members give to help them live out missionally, because it's all spent.

If you want to live missionally, start investing your "offering" in the mission, your included. Service to people God is placing in front of you. If you attend a local church, you have an obligation to contribute there too, since you are benefiting from that. However, your ministry to people around YOU is no less valuable. You are a "priest" too! Act like it for the people you live among! Your leaders don't know them and will never have the same opportunity, ability or desire to reach them like you will.

WARNING: Your church leaders do not like this kind of talk at all. This is the kind of writing wil cause people to ostracize you. Dangerous concepts they mutter. But notice they have no NT answer rely. They will simply revert to OT Temple type talk, because they don't have any NT church talk passages to back tis model of giving.

My Advice, say nothing, just start living it!

How should I Live it? Start investing in your mission field - The peopel God placed before YOU.
How do I do that? Buy boxes of bibles for your business or home, and put them out on display for free. Put your phone number and names inside, "Call Grant or Rose if you have questions. We will help you!" Buy study guides for a group of interested people and lead them. Supply resources or books to help people asking questions.
Host a community BBQ and pay for it all.
Buy a ton of groceries for a single mother you know.
Give a stressed out young couple a night out for dinner, and free baby sitting.
Send the oil truck to deliver oil to that needy family, and tell him not to say who it's from.
Support Mission church planting in Africa, or community development to reduce poverty.

You are free to be generous in funding your ministry, and help others in their ministry too.

GIVE - GIVE ALL YOU CAN to this end. You will never lack for opportunities to talk about Jesus if you live like this. Here is something else Jesus said to do with your resources, money or wealth.

"Here’s the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home." Luke 16:9 (NLT)

This quote is insightful of how people are skeptical of the whole system, and church people are not even aware of the skepticism, because its automatic to us now, as we assumed this is always the way it's been done.

"Many people outside and inside the church are skeptical of where church resources are going.. . and for good reason. When people give faithfully for years and never see a church extending benevolence or making a genuine impact in a community, it’s quite natural to lose motivation. Yes, we should be able to trust our church leadership, but it’s also okay to measure the way we use our corporate resources against how the ancient communities did. Why were they so jubilant about giving? Simply, they got to see it change lives!........

If someone needed his car fixed, if someone couldn’t pay a medical bill, if someone wanted to move out of a bad living situation, or if someone needed a plane ticket to get home to help with a family situation, people just pitched in and did what needed to get done to alleviate the now problem. Once Matt and I realized what was going on, we found great solace in knowing that God’s heart was becoming the heart of our people.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s always a lot of room to help people excel more, and we wouldn’t be able to give flight to spontaneous giving without some infrastructure funding. But we’ve learned that eveything gets taken care of if you give people visjon and, permission to spend their money wisely on real people. So far, our general fund needs have always been sufficient to keep this practical needs co-op on the move.

This is a good time to ask some what if questions: What if every church was able to get every person to commit 5 percent of their income to the general church fund, but mobilized the other 5 percent to all the needs of their communities? How might that change how people view Christians? How can we give people more freedom and creativity in their giving? How do we help people’s giving become more closely tied to their hearts?
(Tangible Kingdom. Hugh Halter, pg 174-175. 2008, Jossey-Bass)

Churchill Was a Glow-Worm!

"We are all worms. But I do believe that I am a glow- worm." (Winston Churchill)

Why Can't We Keep It Simple As a Church? You Gotta Love the Name WolfGang....

Some would say that we can have healthy, effective, and growing churches without precise and well managed systems, and clearly outlines lines of authority and accountability...... We have no idea how uniquly American that perspective it.... The church is growing via simple means, ordinary people (Not elite professionals), rapidly, all over the world...

It seems God IS leaving behind our old systems, no matter how much we remodel, tweak, adjust, and re-image what we do.  People in our kind of churches have never heard of it.... And you will not hear our kind o churches talk about all this either... well maybe when it is in Asia, but not when it is in Canada or America.... Becuse they can't afford to let this simplicity expose their complexity, and the almost morbid amount of money our kind of church must expend on ourseves to maintain what we have.

Woldgang Simpson is an Indian form India, has been part of the Simple movemnts exploding there, and is now in Germany doing the same thing.
I encounter his writing about nine years ago. And This video series is amazing. Simple, clear, not judgmental... to the point. I recommended you listen to it..... and gather others in your home to listen to it.... From this video you can get the other eleven parts (10min each).

It's been how I have been building relationships with people in simplicity, and it has been behind the scenes of the current model of our churches... I learned early on, that talking about this stuf with current churches and leaders is DANGERIOUS.... You will be judged, and you will pay a price if you do. The best advice I ever got as I began this journey in 2000, came about 2006.... Andy Don't try to convince others about it, don't bother seeking their approval, just live it, and then share it with those who come to you seeking it.... I advise you to do the same.... 
You do not need anyone's approval, nor permission to live out the Kingdom of God and sow into others lives.
 Thanks Wolfgang for this little series.

Assumptions Really Drive Wedges

Assumptions are a killer to relationships. We assign certain thoughts, attitudes, or motives to a persons words, actions, or choices, that often are simply very incorrect. I know this because the assumptions people make about me are often very skewed. So that tells me that my assumptions about others are the same. We have too little information.... and even if we have a lot of tidbits, we can never really know anyone's mind, motives, or heart. We assign 'reasons' to people, that we have little reason to reason, from our reasoning. ;-) Assumptions are rarely favorable ones. And what happens is we interact with people via that pre-printed script that we have in our head, and therefore we never really hear or truly see the person in front of us. We are speaking, acting and reacting on that script.... We can't really let new relational/personal data it, nor process it, until we let go of the assumption and listen. So can we stop assuming so much? Can I stop setting myself up as a judge with limited information, and no vision into the mind or heart of another, and learn to love instead?

"...... when you assume you make an 'ass' out of 'U' and 'me.'.... "You don't really believe it's a coincidence that the word ass is contained within the word assume ...do you?"

(M. C. Lang. The Bastard Tree)

Simple Church Being Re-Defined?

Bless everyone's efforts to grow the kingdom, by any means and method, that retains the integrity fo Christ in the process. So Ya.... here it comes.... However, this week I noticed a church conference with pastors and leaders, and the theme for the leaders was simple church. There are things in the "Simple Church" concept of organizing church that I really appreciate. So I thought that this was going to be great thing coming to the church dialogue. A nice refreshing thing to see this entering the dialogue and conferences.... a refreshing balance to how leadership is portrayed, and churches that are programmed to death. Well here is what the seminar was described as

Simple Church – This “Q & A Session” will provide the participant with the specifics of a “Staff Led, Elder Protected” church governance model in a more conversational format. Participants will be invited to ask questions and get answers, leaving the sessions with a clear and detailed understanding of this critically important part of developing a successful church growth strategy. Simple Church … Embracing Healthy Systems – An important part of any church growth strategy is the identification and development of formal systems, processes, and methods that help staff to lead well through building a strong, effective infrastructure. But first, church governance and leadership structure must be setup such that ministry professionals have needed authority to make ministry decisions. From exploring the inner workings of a “staff led, elder protected” leadership structure to the specifics of a structured approach to organization and execution, this workshop will challenge traditional thinking and help the participant to view his or her leadership responsibility in a new, more effective way.

It certainly makes it easier to get things done.... But it goes back to the very lack of confidence in Jesus. That Jesus can shepherd his people, and move them in service to the world.... and we do not have to treat them like babies who can't hear his voice and follow his lead. And Common every day people can be part of this whole multiplication process..... it need not be in the hands of professionals. Is this Sinful? No..... is it rooted in NT scriptures.... no... its simply secular management philosophy brought to market the church. Is that sinful and wrong? No..... Can it help churches get better at management.... certainly! But I can't promote this to the body of Christ personally, and I certainly do not want anyone to set me up as that kind of leader, with that kind of power over the body. I don't trust my heart enough to be a good steward of this power enough that I would always keep Jesus's will at the forefront. Frankly I don't want to turn my ministry and service over to these kind of church leaders, or people to turn that over to me..... When that should be turned over to Jesus alone. I only know this.... Leaders only do what they want to do, only what fits their gifts, only what they are excited about, what delights them to do, and that suites their temperaments, and what fits their personal will and vision.... And we all pass it off as Jesus will for you too.... It can certainly honor Jesus, and do so well. However, leaders don't see the full picture, they see theirs... Not a criticism.. Just a reality, and you should be aware of this. did this for over 20 years. Good men, but normal men..... they are not super giants, and why are you letting men point you to do for christ.. Ask him yourself.... and do it. It's always possible that Jesus wants many other things done, other than the exclusive vision of one local church, and leadership. We don't have to put all our eggs in their visionary basket, nor should we. Some, sure.... All is not required. Is this simple church? Oh my word, No! This is what I'm running from actually. It is the opposite of "Simple Church"..... It's a Heavily structured, and a highly managed and controlled System, with a few making all the decisions. Which is fine.... But I personally I can't walk there. Nor can I teach, live or promote it. I'm not professional enough, gifted in management enough, and frankly I don't want that power over a group of people to be given to me. Give that to Christ alone. I'l help you, I'll walk with you as you try to figure it out. But I will not substitute my voice, and my vision for Christs, to you direct with no middle man me stuck in the way..... AJ

Living in Different Countries Changes You.... Forever!

After living and working in three west African countries, all I can say is this is so true. "It’s hard to deny that the act of living in another country, in another language, fundamentally changes you. Different parts of your personality sort of float to the top, and you take on qualities, mannerisms, and opinions that define the new people around you. And there’s nothing wrong with that; it’s often part of the reason you left in the first place. You wanted to evolve, to change something, to put yourself in an uncomfortable new situation that would force you to into a new phase of your life............... Walking streets alone and eating dinner at tables for one — maybe with a book, maybe not — you’re left alone for hours, days on end with nothing but your own thoughts. You start talking to yourself, asking yourself questions and answering them, and taking in the day’s activities with a slowness and an appreciation that you’ve never before even attempted. Even just going to the grocery store — when in an exciting new place, when all by yourself, when in a new language — is a thrilling activity. And having to start from zero and rebuild everything, having to re-learn how to live and carry out every day activities like a child, fundamentally alters you. Yes, the country and its people will have their own effect on who you are and what you think, but few things are more profound than just starting over with the basics and relying on yourself to build a life again. I have yet to meet a person who I didn’t find calmed by the experience. There is a certain amount of comfort and confidence that you gain with yourself when you go to this new place and start all over again, and a knowledge that — come what may in the rest of your life — you were capable of taking that leap and landing softly at least once. But there are the fears. And yes, life has gone on without you. And the longer you stay in your new home, the more profound those changes will become. Holidays, birthdays, weddings — every event that you miss suddenly becomes a tick mark on an endless ream of paper. One day, you simply look back and realize that so much has happened in your absence, that so much has changed. You find it harder and harder to start conversations with people who used to be some of your best friends, and in-jokes become increasingly foreign — you have become an outsider. There are those who stay so long that they can never go back. We all meet the ex-pat who has been in his new home for 30 years and who seems to have almost replaced the missed years spent back in his homeland with full, passionate immersion into his new country. Yes, technically they are immigrants. Technically their birth certificate would place them in a different part of the world. But it’s undeniable that whatever life they left back home, they could never pick up all the pieces to. That old person is gone, and you realize that every day, you come a tiny bit closer to becoming that person yourself — even if you don’t want to. So you look at your life, and the two countries that hold it, and realize that you are now two distinct people. As much as your countries represent and fulfill different parts of you and what you enjoy about life, as much as you have formed unbreakable bonds with people you love in both places, as much as you feel truly at home in either one, so you are divided in two. For the rest of your life, or at least it feels this way, you will spend your time in one naggingly longing for the other, and waiting until you can get back for at least a few weeks and dive back into the person you were back there. It takes so much to carve out a new life for yourself somewhere new, and it can’t die simply because you’ve moved over a few time zones. The people that took you into their country and became your new family, they aren’t going to mean any less to you when you’re far away. When you live abroad, you realize that, no matter where you are, you will always be an ex-pat. There will always be a part of you that is far away from its home and is lying dormant until it can breathe and live in full color back in the country where it belongs. To live in a new place is a beautiful, thrilling thing, and it can show you that you can be whoever you want — on your own terms. It can give you the gift of freedom, of new beginnings, of curiosity and excitement. But to start over, to get on that plane, doesn’t come without a price. You cannot be in two places at once, and from now on, you will always lay awake on certain nights and think of all the things you’re missing out on back home." (Chelsea Fagan)

When a 250 lb Fisherman Cries Too Much! Where In The World Transitions Again

I have no followers, and that is ok. Seriously, I get blog hits from all over the world. However, I have no consistent readers that I know of. Also, as far as I know, NONE of my friends follow this blog. Most don't even know it exists, and the few who might, certainly ignore it.

The church ministry "friends" I have, simply can't read it. It's too opposite of the Leadership Superstar Management church models they are being trained in. And to hear a dissenting simpler option, and a guy who transitioned form Paid Minister playing the game, to a free serving servant, not playing the game but just as kingdom active all over the world........welllll.... it just saps their already diminished joy for running their church machinery. Open this floodgate even a little, and they are lost to everything as they know it. So they can't crack this door at all. So I get it.

I am not into marketing this blog, building a fellowship, like so many blogs become and are able to do so masterfully. I have no desire nor clue how to do that. This is just my venting place, and a place to register and catalog interesting quotes I read, that made ME think and help me on my journey. It's an easy place to collect data I'm interested in.

So I feel quite safe writing about some transitions I have been going through. 

1. I transitioned from Full time Ministry to Fully Missionary.

Yes 5 yrs in pulpit ministry game (1990-1995). Five years church planting in Ivory Coast West Africa (1995-2000).

2. I transitioned into Fisherman/ Part time Ministry - to Fisherman/Tent making Team Leader of  a simple Church plant.

2000-2007 I served part time with a small church while fishing full time 6 monhs a year. Good folks, but I no longer fit the Western church pastor model well, or just did not want to, which was it????? Africa ruined me and opened my eyes to what the western church has become. Which became clear to me, that I was not to  be a pastor in that system. I was glad when they chose not to renew my annually voted on  contract in 2007. Yep each year I had to have 80% popularity vote, or my contract was not renewed for the next year. In 2007 I never made the 80%. Over those 7 years, I used all my vacation time to work in Africa, making four trips back to Africa to work in my old field, and scout untouched muslim regions for future work. Most in that church never asked me about it, or what I did in Africa, ever when I went. I came home to no interest. In fact I think some were apposed to be doing this on my vacation. 

So in 2007-2010 I agreed to be part of a simple church plant for no pay, and commercially fished for a living with my Dad. I wanted it to be a network of simple house gatherings. But it soon became the default. A rented hall, with a shingle out front (Not my choice but was a good team player in the group). It became something that I, not in any way, what I wanted to do.... but by all other standards was normal and good. It was good, just not for me is all. But it was a lot of fun to walk with this group. Some of the best in the box times of my life. But we were going to have the same results as every other rural church with a shingle. We played the "Excellence" game, and we had the models and worked them, and it never worked for us well. Never does for most churches i have come to see.   

3. I transitioned to Humanitarian NGO 2010-2013. Leading the first ever community development project for Man of Peace Development in Mali, West Africa. I work in a 100% Muslim community about 500km from the capital city. I love what I do there, and Africa has deep roots in my heart. This is a 6 months each year project. I just got home from there a few weeks ago. 


4. NOW.......I am Transitioning to Fishing Captain 2013:

I was always a high percentage partner in the family fishing business with my dad the last 12 years. We worked as a team, but he was to stay at the wheel until he was ready to not be at the wheel. I worked the deck and managed all the working details.

In a way, I never really thought of taking the wheel, ever. We get along well. I had seen other sons put pressure on their older dads to retire and the transition was hard on the "Old Man" as i don't think they were ready to retire, and made to feel like they were standing in the way of their sons progress. So they stepped down out of respect for their sons, but they themselves, were not ready to cut out a very important part of their being.... I've seen it happen over and over again.

So I never asked, it was not my place or desire. I wanted my dad to stay at the wheel until he was ready. I had a job, and I worked overseas in Africa too. So I was happy with not taking the wheel too.
 Also, I knew the day he did step down, I would need to make some hard decisions about Africa, my life in general. Managing a fishing business and being at sea 6 months a year is no small commitment I assure you.

I've noticed my dad really slowing down the last 5 yrs. Rightfully so, as he is 70 in May 2013. But when I got home after a winter in Africa a few weeks ago, I noticed something. My dad really aged this past year. And though he lifts gear etc, he is really having a much harder time to do it this spring. He is as thin as a pencil now. Since he was diagnosed with mild Diabetes a few yrs back, so he has to watch his diet.

Well Yesterday I finally got the talk. He said this will be his last year, and I am taking the wheel next season. He's going to get his business in order, and then I know where I stand, and I'll have to get my shit in order too. 

Most young men I know got real excited when they took over their first fishing gears as Captain.
How did the news make me feel? I hate to say it, but this 250lb solid old burly fisherman almost started to cry in the truck. My dad did not know, or see it. I just small talked saying, "you do what you need to do, and I'll take case of my end once we all know where we stand.". But a whole lot rushed at me that I did not know what to do with...
 
What does this mean? Thought I can still probably work in Africa each winter as a humanitarian NGO, the length of time will need to be shortened. And frankly right now I can't take off the table that I may even have to shut down that chapter of my life in some more serious way.
Am I ready for that? That is a dark tunnel I can't even consider looking at right now.

Then, there is the capacity too. Will I catch the fish, enough to make a go of it? I don't know the grounds like my dad who has now fished for 54 yrs. He has the bottom, every ledges, and every bump on the bottom or hump, on the ocean bottom memorized. He can take you there to each one, with no GPS, just a compass and water depth indicator.

I don't have all those humps and bumps memorized. Just as generalities. I'll be learning it all new for myself. I may make decisions of when to move gear and generally where... But it is he who is looking at the sounders and indicators we the gear is dropped, not me.... I'm the guy who puts it over the deck. And with prices being so low the last 5 years, you need to put the pounds of fish on the deck, or you can't survive this business.

Will I make a good fishing captain?  I don't know. I know the deck, I know when we should move gear and to where.... But I have so much more to learn.  

Also, though I have lived in my home town the last 12 yrs.... I have really felt like a stranger here, and have entertained the thoughts of moving many times...for a fresh start. My home church, the one that ordained me, and where I served for a few years is down the road, and I no longer can be part of that anymore. It's a small rural community and they don't get it... can't accept it.....
Well.......no moving now. This will be my home until I retire and pass this on to one of my sons. 

As if my church transition was not major enough. (From paid professional working on Masters in Churchy stuff - to no pay, being apart of simple organic home gatherings of people as a servant not a Leader - as we know leaders today.)  Now from NGO (Still so in some capacity) to a Fishing Boat Captain.

I find I cry a lot, over little things, these days. Anything, crazy things, but not about my life things.... Over the stories, events, and happenings in other peoples lives. I'm rarely broken hearted at my own affairs or life. Mine is pretty good. But just this morning, while coming home for the coffee shop with my dad early this morning, we were talking about something (I have no idea what now) But The tears started to well up in my eyes over the craziest thing that had nothing to do with me what so ever. That happens a lot these days. But I don't feel depressed or down. I can't explain it...

So my 70yr old Dad is stepping down. I did almost cry. But NOT because I feel some burden... It's not burdensome to me.... I never found anything about Africa or fishing to be burdensome.
The only thing in my life like that was, was being a "Clergy" a Pastor, a minister and managing church, playing the church game, and having those meetings about "Doin it better" to "Grow the church". Sunday gathering were generally stifling (In any Church I've been in). The whole System of church management, how we do it, function, operate, and the boxed role ministers are put in..... was burdensome, BIG TIME. It was not fun, I played by their rules for 20 yrs, their rules suck, and no amount of repacking of church, and leadership will change that. I recommended that service box to no one. But I recommend Jesus and being part of the body to everyone. Build the kingdom in freedom, not the box.
 
So a transition is coming... Yes I'm excited, apprehensive, contemplative, hopeful, sad, wondering, dreaming, doubting, accepting, and questioning just about everything now. I have depleted my "answer reservoir" over the last 5 years. I've never had less answers in my life than I do now at 45 yrs of age.

Frankly, I have no idea how it's all going to fit together. But notice I did not add to that list the word "worried...." Things will fit... it's just maybe the border of my puzzle, once put together, will not have square corners and straight line borders, in a box shape. Which is OK by me... But, as with most things in my now "Outside the Box"  Life, it will annoy the hell out of most people around me for not playing by their rules. When I think about that it makes me happy, I never cry over that.....never will!

AJ

Methods And Power as Accomplishment, Commentary as Distraction

I have no worthy commentary to add to this powerful insight within this "fictional" paragraph. This is why I quote so much on this blog... I've not much good to add to this great stuff I encounter. My commentary is a distraction Adam's conversation with Michael at the foot of the twisted bastard tree.....

"This is why authority and power are so alluring and so damaging in the world. When one is driven by selfishness and wields power over another, what is the inevitable result?" he asked rhetorically. "Not everyone can control. You share a world together. The unavoidable outcome is perpetual competition. And, ultimately, the only way to get anything done is to create structures where power and control are clearly defined. Think of kings and queens and CEOs and popes and senior pastors and presidents and managers; this is how the world is organized, and it is also why Gabriel spoke of the towers of Babel as he did; for there is a better way. "You see, religion is sometimes like the world: always trying to create a newer and better model. Constantly striving to fix all the problems the fall created with their own creations. Religion just spiritualizes this quest to justify itself; for it's all being done in the name of God, and for his sake. Can you not see that though they call it freedom, it can still be bondage? No matter how well the new model appears to work, the heart can remain dead within; for models are often mechanisms to manipulate the deepest longings and needs of men. No model can fabricate intimate communion. It requires mutual surrender, true abandonment. Only in communion with love, with him, will you begin to find freedom. At their best, systems can help clarify the work abandonment is already doing; but at their worst they impede abandonment altogether and create an illusion of progress; they can become a surrogate for vulnerability and intimacy. But it is in abandonment, vulnerability, and intimacy that grace is found."

(The Bastard Tree. M. C. Lang. Pg 239)

Conditional Love.... Conditional Forgiveness.....

"Forgiveness my boy. That is what you do with anger. Don't you see, if you choose not to forgive, you are hoarding your love. Your love is conditional. You've turned it into a weapon to punish the object of your anger, but mostly you punish yourself"

(The Bastard Tree. M. C. Lang. Pg 180) in Gray's conversation with Michael.......

Hiding The Inner Process

"The Bastard Tree', is an interesting read at 60% in.

A Christian fiction of sorts, kind of similar to, "So You Don't Want To Go To Church Any More.". Nothing deep.... but made me stop and look at some of the insanity performace, without connection.

I know, the titles really turn off judgmental, rabid, fundamentalist type people. Because, unlike most of us, they can judge a book by its cover. If any book even sounds like it will question anything, in the totality of their church experience, or view as is, hook line and sinker, with absolutely no modification....she's toast.

I'm not a fan of fiction, never have been. It should not drive our theology, but it should drive our imagination. Because imagination and encounter  causes me to wrestle with my theology. That, unbeknown to fundamentalist evangelicals, is a good "Borean" process.

"Therefore, as a coal mine breaks the body, so the hardening of Mike's heart—and the excessive maintenance required to keep it that way—had broken his soul. Mike was far from alone in this sort of predicament; in fact, his case was not particularly striking in any way- There are those who are contorted in extreme ways, driven by the uncontrollable need to hide the insidious process going on in their inner-most workings. (The Bastard Tree. M. C. Lang. Pg 170)

Anyway, this line was insightful, as I have been in a process too, and hiding it from "the box" church people. Not because I'm ashamed, or see any theological concerns with where I am. Simply put, this hiding is almost always mandatory, if you don't want to be slaughtered while you go through it.

Because to most fundamentalist evangelicals, the only reasonable and acceptable end resolution is for you fall back in line with them, conform to things as is in the church practice and life, and stop going down that other path. Just fall back in line, see and do church like this, be a good hard working servant robot of the church program system, because this it baby, this is what it is all about.

Is the process going on inside insidious? Depends who you ask. My theology has changed little in this process (is that good or bad). However, how I relate to the operation or management of the church program machinery, and church expression has changed dramatically. How I relate people now is very different. 

I'm growing tired of hiding my process. I no longer hide it. But neither do I talk about it freely to churchy people in the circles I once was deeply part of. They have colored glasses (Like mine), and little or no vocabulary to discuss this. What I find is that , they really have no theological issue with where i am.... However, if they take even a peak at this, it "undoes" them so much, they either have to slam the door shut for good (most common reaction) and not go there. As if they entertain this simplicity and freedom, while retaining doctrinal integrity they see in this life, it totally takes the wind out of their sails too. The wind is gone for the machinery management. And for those who's pay, and career is built on this system. Well, to look will undo everything for them. So they just can't go there. Or if they do....they admit this system is exhausting and out of balance. It undoes them.... Seems to be one or the other reaction. Not much in between.....

Bible Verse Napalm And Christians Acting Like Relational Dicks.

Arrogance is behind the attitude to expose another's perceived ignorance. You can talk truth, if you act like truth. Remember we have love that neighbor all the time. People are drawn to wisdom and truth, but they often judge it by what it does for, in and to the person claiming it, while sharing it with them. Bible diarrhea does not impress them much, your lips are still moving, but you lost them. But your friendship and attitude in conversation about it does.

"But don't be disappointed if you don't find me lobbing verses of scripture at them like live grenades. In my experience, I've come to find that people don't generally respond well to being bombarded with Bible Napalm. And, if you're that guy? Stop it! I know you're well-meaning, but you just sound like a dick... When my friends and I discuss the differences in our Faith, we do it respectfully, gently, gracefully. We speak with Love for one another. It takes us far..."

(Jamie The Very Worst Missionary blog. April 9th 2013. What would Jesus....blog)

Best Lack Conviction, Worst Full Of Passionate Intensity

"In short, we have not found a way to do the age-appropriate tasks of the two halves of life, and both groups are losing out. The juniors are made to think that the container is all there is and all they should expect; or worse, that they are mature and home free because they believe a few right things or perform some right rituals. The would-be maturing believer is not challenged to any adult faith or service to the world, much less mystical union. Everyone ends up in a muddled middle, where "the best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity" as William Butler Yeats put  it."
(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Only Great Power Checks Evil?

"Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love."

(Gandalf the Grey The Hobbit)

The Perfect Mindless Heartless Christian Body

This cartoon just so nailed the, "treat them like mindless bimbo's who are soooo helpless" attitude the average church leadership treats people like. If we don't point the finger, they will never find their way. They need us..... ahem... ME.... 

Thinking people can't take the pain of being treated like helpless two year olds who need leading by the hand. It really is insulting......
 
We are no longer "Sheep without a shepherd". We have a Shepherd now. But,  by the way we speak and act in church,  it seems we forget that.

This cartoon is worth a look... It's blunt and raw.... but as a pulpit minister and overseas missionary for many years, I can't really argue with much of it... Unfortunately, It exposes a real truth of how we treat people, and I think why we have such a "feed me" mentality in the body..

The Perfect Christian Body

Keep Your Hands Off The Church!

Lottie Moon was a missionary to China in the mid to late 19th century. She was born to wealthy parents, well educated and left a teaching career in America to serve as a missionary in North China in 1873. She shared her finances and food with those in need and eventually died as a result at the age of 73. A friend of mine, Dave Clippard, recently shared a quote from Lottie Moon that I had not come across before. She said,

When the gospel is allowed to grow naturally in China, without forcing processes of development, the "church in the house" is usually its first form of organization. God grant us faith and courage to keep "hands off" and allow this new garden of the Lord's planting to ripen in the rays of the Divine Love, free from human interference! - Lottie Moon, Pingtu, September 10, 1890

House Churches And Others

Yep, meeting in a house can change little. 

"Those burned by conventional church will find no solace here. The authors believe that house churches started by disgruntled Christians fed up with the establishment are doomed. Only those at peace with the value of all types of church and leadership will be able to grow a healthy house church or house church network.

More importantly, to avoid the ugly pitfalls of ingrown, exclusivist house churches, McClung and Kreider insist house churches must be birthed with outreach firmly at the forefront of ministry, above and beyond the fellowship of believers."

 

http://www.churchleaders.com/outreach-missions/outreach-missions-articles/138857-starting-a-house-church.html

10 Gut-Wrenching Observations from a Former Church Insider Preacher

This is about how I feel about it all too...

Yes # 10 Is me too... (Insert your judgement here).....

#3 is the biggie for me too. #5 is alarming.... Number #2 makes me wonder why we have to figure it out for them.... push them to their spiritual work and seeking. They should be doing that spiritual work for themselves, and be developing that kind of spiritual outlook on life where they seek. Me taking that away from them, and replacing the Spirits voice for my guidance, I think is a huge part of how we silence the "Spirit" in church culture by running ahead to help....... I'm sitting here as a trained theologian.... I rarely understand the dynamics of what most other fields entail, I don't think i can tell them how can I decide how to best plug them in, and if I could I'm to the place I don't feel I should until they are hearing and sensing from Christ how and where to move on that stuff. .....????? And I agree with #1 Totally as well.

10 Gut-WrenchingObservations from a Former Church Insider

by Shaun King

A powerful look at church from the outside by a former pastor.

(This post has not been edited for errors.  These are my raw, honest thoughts. In a hurry?  Scroll down for my 10 observations.)

I didn’t grow up in church.

It wasn’t until I was assaulted in high school and required several spinal surgeries that I even knew I needed God.  But from 1996-2011, from the time I was 16 until I was 31, church was CENTRAL to my life personally and professionally.  I became a church insider almost instantly.  Here is a bit of my church history…

At the age of 16 I was baptized @ Antioch Baptist Church in Lexington, KY by my best friends dad, Willis Polk

At the age of 17 I was licensed to preach by Willis Polk at his new church, Imani Baptist Church

At the age of 17 I moved to Atlanta.  My first mentor in Atlanta was Howard Creecy, the chaplain of the city of Atlanta and pastor of an urban church – St. Peter Baptist Church.

At the age of 18 I decided I wanted to be like a man named Dr. Aaron Parker.  I revered this dude.  He was a religion professor @ Morehouse College and a local pastor of Zion Hill Baptist Church.

At the age of 18 I started preaching all over the country and became active @ Zion Hill Baptist Church

At the age of 22 I visited Union Theological Seminary in NYC and thought long and hard about going there for my Master of Divinity.

At the age of 23 I started attending Total Grace Christian Center after several friends of mine from Morehouse and Spelman insisted it was an amazing place.  The pastor, Johnathan Alvarado, whom I have since spoken out against very strongly, was actually great to me during most of time there and put me on the fast track to leadership.  I was ordained as a pastor by him, became his personal assistant, and eventually helped launch a new campus of the church.

At the age of 25 I was approved and trained by the Evangelical Covenant Church denomination to become a church planter.

At the age of 28 I was approved and trained by ARC (Association of Related Churches) to become a church planter.

At the age of 29 I launched Courageous Church in downtown Atlanta.  I thought I’d pastor there forever. It sounds crazy to me now, but I loved that church and the people.  I’d do so many things differently if I could do it all over again. We had something special there.

In 2011 I stepped down from my role as Pastor of Courageous Church.  Man that hurt.

———

In the nearly 2 years since then I’ve visited a lot of churches with my family.

We’ve visited churches we’ve heard about for years, places we just learned about on the fly, we’ve sat in the balcony and down front, we’ve been to churches of all cultures and backgrounds, we’ve tried out all of the children’s ministries, we’ve seen church every way you can make it in America.

We’ve lived in California, Kentucky, and New York these past 2 years and have pretty much seen it all.  All of that considered, I have 10 observations that I’d love to share.

I like to always give this stipulation when I offer what may sound like a self-righteous critique of church. I love the Church. I love God. I am flawed. This is not me saying I’m perfect and that the church sucks. With that said, here goes…

10 Honest Observations of Church Now that I am an Outsider

10. This is going to sound terrible, but I’m surprised how little church means to me now that I’m not a church insider.

(Yep, it's where i'm at)

    When I was a church insider, I operated under the assumption that what we were offering people was going to fill some deep gap that they had and knew that they had, but now that I am a church outsider, I’m a perfectly content guy. I don’t feel like something is missing. Maybe it is, but it doesn’t feel that way.

    I think pastors and church leaders too often assume that people that don’t show up on Sunday are lonely or deficient in some way, but it’s just not the case in my world and probably isn’t the case with others. I listed this first because I think if I knew that people felt that way when I was a pastor I would have offered them something different and talked to them differently.

 It changes everything.

9. Most church nurseries stink. 

    I mean like outrageous funk hits you in the face right away type of stink. They smell like crap and instantly make me not want to drop my baby off there.

    Listen, I know diapers are changed there, but I’ve seen it done where it doesn’t smell like an old man crapped on the floor. Dropping a baby off to strangers is already a weird and difficult proposition – please dispose of the diapers in a close container and use air freshener.

8. I’ve gotten lost in every church I’ve ever attended. 

    I can’t find the bathrooms, I can’t find where to drop off the kids, and when I find the bathrooms and where to drop off the kids, I can’t find my way back to my seat.

    Directional signs are SO DOGGONE CHEAP. You can seriously go as cheap as laminating some paper and taping them on the walls or go super fancy and have them professionally done. Just do it.

    

7. The sermons are rarely memorable.

    This is a huge problem because in every church we’ve visited the sermon is clearly designed to be the crescendo/centerpiece of the entire service.

    I won’t tell you where we went last, but I can’t tell you even one sentence from the sermon and I listened the whole doggone time.

      

6. In my church training, I always learned that parents will go to a church that they like just a little bit if the kids LOVE it...

    But that parents will leave a church they like a lot if the kids don’t like it. 

    It’s true.  I preferred one church in New York personally but the kids didn’t like it at all.  We went back one time. The kids didn’t like it again. I love it. We never went back.

DOUBLE DOWN ON WHAT YOU DO FOR KIDS. Make it even bigger and better than what you do for adults!!

    

5. I honestly don’t remember if I acted this way when I was a pastor, but I’ve had a few pastors act really weird over their church members volunteering to help with something I was leading outside of the church. 

(I find this ALARMING, sick, and Sad. AJ)

    Each time it baffled me. Don’t act like you own your members. I’m not going to start a church with them. They can volunteer outside of your church.

    It’s healthy. Don’t be weird and don’t act so insecure fellas.

    

4. When I pastored Courageous Church we spent an outrageous amount of time on announcements. 

    I was slightly aware that we spoke of our announcements too many times. Now that I am on the other end of things, IT IS CRAZY. Don’t have an announcement video, then an announcement flyer, then have the pastor restate all of the announcements, then have a host come do it at the end. Cut almost all of it out.

 Do it once and have a flyer. If the pastor has to emphasize something, have them only say something about one thing, but my guess is that unless it’s urgent, let the pastor just preach. It goes in one ear and out the other, it drags the service on an extra half an hour, and it’s just not effective.

3. I feel like I’m going back in time when I go to most churches. 

 (Yep.... so out of touch with Modern Technology, some even ban it's use, and frankly even the hippest churches services seem contrived and out of date to me, because it comes across as so artificial, and it is as we are trying to fabricate something. AJ)

    Listen, I know God is unchanging, but the world changes.

    I hear pastors make illustrations with references from the 80s that go right over people’s heads.

    I hear music that was popular in the 90s (which is getting to be a long time ago).

    A ton of churches make zero references to social media during the services, but it’s a big part of people’s lives.  I hate to say this, but when I visited some churches, it felt just like it did when I visited them 10 years ago and gave me very little motivation to go back.

     

2. Most churches have NO IDEA what to do with the true skills and gifts that men and women have...

 (Da....they can't figure that out as highly skilled professionals with a thinking mind and a Jesus heart? Why do I need to figure it out for them. They know how best to help and love people with their skills Go do it, use it... Don't wait for me to create it for you in an artificial environment of the church. And I should not have to prod you to serve others in love. That is a sign of real spiritual lethargy. (Part of the issue is we think we have to reign what people to it into the church walls, and under that umbrella before it's "church service" ). This baby coddling approach to Spirituality is what makes us into little babies who can't think for ourselves, are not in touch with Jesus and the spirit enough to sense his movements and promptings in our life, so we take the easy road in church and ask a special human "God Agent" to tell us what to do. That is scarey to me actually.  AJ)

    if they don’t involve singing, doing camera work, or running lyrics on a laptop.

    I rarely feel challenged in church and rarely hear of any opportunities to use any of my skills, gifts, or talents in a remotely meaningful way. I am sure people felt this way when I was a pastor as well, but it totally went over my head.

    Your church is full of smart, experienced, skilled people. It’s OK for them to be ushers and greeters, but if somebody is an expert at something, take the time to figure out how to use that.

    It will engage them on a deep level and make the commit like never before.

     

1. All of that said, I’m still so proud of you pastors.  

 (Yep. The toughest job there is.... and MANY (MOST) pay a huge price for being one too. The way most people view their pastor and set him up as some super human, and what we expect him to be like, and do, at all times.... is impossible. It's killing them, and we have no freaking clue we are doing it, and don't care to change it anyway.... 99% of you reading this have no idea the burden your pastor bares. You certainly are not going to try and change it. Want to help your pastor? Grow up and take chare of your own spiritual life... you can do it... Jesus is right there in the room with you. 

Stop trying to do events to attract people to church, and go minister to the people you know outside of the church building where he does not have to be part of managing it. And treat him the same way you do any  Ho-joe Christian you know on the street... He is no more holy, no more gifted, and no more special.... and he will tell you that. He's tired trying to live up to your foolish fake image. He's tired of not being able to be himself, without judgment and consequences. He's been taught that to let his guard down on this means he will get shot too. Don't shot him. AJ)

    Your work is so important, but so hard and it can be nearly impossible to get outside of your bubble to know what the world truly thinks and feels.

 I am rooting for you in every way!