Oxbow Flow And Rhythm Of Life

I'm just learning the beauty of living these words.

"..randomness is a reflection of the fact that spiritual forces move mysteriously and 'blow where they will '.... It is only when life slows and oxbows and loops that it can flood out to fertilize unfamiliar plains and terrains."
(L. Sweet. Nudge. Pg98)

Where is God Anyway?

There are still holy places, holy times, services, events and activities. That is why modern Christianity is not freed from the old covenant, nor the temple that represented it. We are still very much in the temple mind set.

"When Christianity restricts God's presence to the sacred or denies God's presence outside the sacred, it mirrors an Enlightenment culture that crudely separated life into the secular and the religious, thereby making the omnipresence of God hard to experience."
(Leonard Sweet. Nudge. Pg 93)

So True.....

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." Eleanor Roosevelt

Successful Failure?

This so describes my life.

"Success is the ability to go from one
failure to another with no loss of
enthusiasm." -W.Churchill

Be Careful Who You Talk To About Your Journey

I, like most of you, learned this lesson the hard way. Most people are not on your journey, and frankly in churches, most are critical of any journey other than the one that the member masses are on. They can't handle people doing something different. You are a distraction. Their strength is in uniformity, and conformity, which they conceal behind a terribly mistaken use of the word "unity". However, the few who listen, really listen, and offer insight, but in no way try to hijack your journey, are like water to a thirsty soul. Read what Richard Rohar said about this subject.

"Do not give to dogs what is holy, or throw your pearls before swine.They will trample them, and then they will turn on you and tear you to pieces" (Matthew 7:6). We can save ourselves a lot of distress and accusation by knowing when, where, to whom, and how to talk about spiritually mature things. We had best offer what each one is ready to hear, and perhaps only stretching them a bit! Ken Wilber says that most of us are only willing to call 5 percent of our present information into question at any one point—and again that is on a very good day. I guess prophets are those who do not care whether you are ready to hear their message. They say it because it has to be said and because it is true."
(Richard Rohr. Falling Upwards)

One Humiliation Per Day

”I have prayed for years for one good humiliation a day, and then I must watch my reaction to it."
(Richard Rohr. Calling Upward)

Dismiss The Soldier... Release Him/Her

"Normally we will not discharge our loyal soldier until he shows himself to be wanting, incapable, inadequate for the real issues of life—as when we confront love, death, suffering, subtlety, sin, mystery, and so on.  path to heaven....... Every initiation rite I studied worldwide was always about "dying before you die." When you first discharge your loyal soldier, it will feel like a loss of faith or loss of self. But it is only the death of the false self and is often the very birth of the soul. Instead of being ego driven, you will begin to be soul drawn."

(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Just Smile And Wave Boys, Smile And Wave

"In fact, one of the best covers for very narcissistic people is to be polite, smiling,  and  thoroughly  civilized."

(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Finding God

God is at work in everyone, we need eyes to see where and how.

"If you don't find God in the very next person you meet it is a waste of time looking for him further " (Ghandi)

Attention Please!

The best gift is attention.

"We have three things to spend in life: time, money, and attention. And the greatest of these is attention.

(Michael Blewett. Rector on Bowling Green Kentucky.) As told by Leonard Sweet in Nudge.

Show Up - But Shut Up

Great advice for life anywhere. Especially living and working in Africa.
Wish I had done more of it in my younger days.

"First, Watch: Show up, Slow Down, Shut up and Listen, and Wake Well." (Leonard Sweet. Nudge)

Africans Give and Give and Give

How true this is. They give so much more generously than we westerners do, even to strangers.

"I usually joke about my years spent in a West African village, as if they were simply a sweaty, stinky, rat eating, tummy cramping adventure, as if Afi and the villagers hadn't given their homes, their laughter, their grooves, their children, their food, their lives, as if they hadn't given and given and given their strength, their love, their spirit..."
(Monique Schmidt. Last Moon Dancing)

Seen Clearly.....On The Way out!

"You can see clearly something that is embedded in your culture only when it is in the act of receding into the historical distance." (J. Hillis Miller)

I've experienced this as of late. Been an interesting last seven years or so. Maybe it's just the age I'm at?

You begin to look back and question why was I sold that? You begin to then question why you bought it.
We are sold that giving up your time and energy for this, or that, is the best use of your life. They sell us that time spent this way  is best way for promotion, to make money, to please God, to build a church or organization, to grow something. to get success.  When really what it is all about is, this is what you must do to gain that group, organization, or institutions acceptance and approval.  Some of that approval and acceptance is not worth what you have to give up... Thought honestly, when you are there, you do not even know what it is costing you, what you are giving up to go down that road.

There is many things I used to spent my time doing, that i no longer doing, others  that are simply given significantly smaller amounts of my attention.

There are practices, beliefs, events, and habits i once had in my life, that now I have let go of....
As I saw them exit my life, there was a moment of tremendous clarity. A clarity I never had when immersed in that culture. Now they have been exposed for the error they are, the exhausting life draining treadmill of bondage, for no reason, and no good.

I challenge you to look too. Some of what you have been sold, and bought into, is keeping you busy, it serves the purpose of the institution or network you are part of. However, in the end does it give you life?  Drawing people into what you do, where you are. what you have, with how you feel about it; Come on; would you really wish that on anyone else?

If the answer is no, stop selling it, stop supporting it. Find a new way to live, a way to live that scatters real life to others.

Some things are only seen clearly, on the way out... 
You'll see!
AJ the International Nomad

Who Can Do The Journey?

But, many a church, pastor, leader, or 'clergy' try to map it all out for you. If you don't believe me, see the reaction when you chose not to follow their map.

"No Pope, Bible quote, psychological technique, religious formula, book, or guru can do your journey for you."
(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Married To An African Village

Speaking of Zaire ( present Congo).

  ".... I couldn't go because I was really already married, not to a woman, but to this village and this land. I was already taken." (Mike Tidwell. The Ponds of  Kalambayi. Pg 215)

Africa Always Waits

Thought this was a well written paragraph. Its by Emma Jones, a returning MK struggling with being "home"..... But wanting to go back home to Africa. Was on her blog today.

"But home would always be there, waiting for me like I never left. Stuck in this golden halo of warmth and stillness. Nothing moved too fast, nothing demanded too much of me. Life flowed like honey, slow and sweet, not in a loud and chaotic rush of lights and blaring noises. It was patient and kind...
Africa always waited...."

Religious Imposition!

"The currency of the gospel of religion is fear and imposition. The currency of the gospel of Christ is love and invitation." (Leonard Sweet. Nudge, pg 21)

I think that I have experienced both sides now. People who preach and live a gospel of imposition. There "gospel commands" are burdensome.  They get very angry when you side step their ways, methods, power, leadership, tradition, or opinions. Question the good of their path or method... and you are in trouble. There is much fear and intimidation, and labeling in that camp. I dished it out myself, and I've received it too.

I am beginning to appreciate those who live the Gospel of love and invitation. I am not here to force anything on anyone. I am here to point to Jesus, to invite them to another look or glimpse. It's risky to point people to the foot of the cross, and leave them there. Jesus might just do something with them, without us. And I convinced he does do something when we get out of the way.

I don't want disciples formed in my image.....but his.
I invite you to take a look at him, certainly not me.

My Africa Life in Pictures

 This is a typical day in my life and work for five months each year.
I don't often post about what I do here in Africa.
But I am a fishing captain six months a year in Canada, and I am involved in community development work in Africa as a Director of Field operations for Man of Peace Development..
I can't post the names of the people or villages I work in. We work in an Islamic region....and  it is pretty rural and isolated. We have no 4#4 trucks etc, as we keep our overhead low, and our foot print small. So we have to use moto's to get in an out of the bush for our work. It's dusty, exhausting hard work, and I love it. We are just South of the Sahara Desert here...  This is what i see every day. Enjoy the peek......

Staying Motivated in Africa- Peace Corps Perspective

I though this girl summarized very well the daily struggle of living and working in rural Africa, for the newly arrived, and sometimes for the seasoned pro too.

"Volunteers spent a lot of time thinking they "deserved" little treats because life was hard. And life was difficult, but by choice. We had chosen to be here because we wanted to help and to grow. But amongst the latrine battles and the discipline battles and the intestinal battles, the festivals, the grand bieres, and the loneliness, it was difficult to remember to learn, difficult to remain open enough to learn. It was hard to push aside the mosquito net every morning and slide into underwear, stiff and holey from the local soap and hand-washing, to reread letters from friends talking about email mishaps and jazz concerts, hard to walk down the hallway to greet the maggots, and say, "Wow! Today I'm going to have the opportunity to learn." I constantly searched for the mind tricks to turn it all into a sitcom, marveling at the fact l had to have so many coping mechanisms. I had thought I was invincible."

(Last Moon Dancing: Memoir of Love and Real Life In Africa. Monique Schmidt. Pg 93)

We Don't Have Any Money! The Phrase Of Life In Africa

Life for many rural Africans I know. How many time have I heard this?

"Have you given him any medicine?" I asked.
"Yes, yes," he said. "We gave him aspirin and vitamins every day."
I shook my head.

“You know that's not enough. You've got to get him to a doctor. You've got to go to the mission hospital."

A look of shame and embarrassment crept onto Kanyenda's face. "Teta katuena ne falanga to," he said. "We don't have any money."

There they were. Those five words: "We don't have any money." They were permanently stitched to the sleeve of serious illness in Kalambayi, speaking like an epitaph for 90 percent of the chiefdom's dead and dying."

(Mike Tidwell. 'The Ponds is Kalambayi. pig 130)

Some Churches Dangerious To Our Health?

"Churches, by no means all but too many, have become as dangerous to the health of our soul as porn shops. People leave both superficially titillated and deeply numbed, Religious events can be as irrelevant to real life as cocktail parties at country clubs:..... Christian crusaders push for biblical literacy and expository preaching and abortion protesting and pron shop closing, and their words seem energized more by power-hungry moralism and grace-lacking legalism than by engagement with culture on behalf of a holy and loving God" 

(Larry Crabb, Soul Talk, pg 16)

Stunning Man.... Profound Vision .... Simply Executed!

This stunning photo was taken in the bush 30km SE of Sikasso, Mali ,West Africa.....near the Samogho village of Mandela. This amazing old man, Sankoro Traoré, is still planting orange and other fruit trees he will never live to harvest. This is in the Sahel, just south of the Sahara desert. Watering them is hard work here. This is an inspirational story of a man with a vision. We are now working with some old women and widows because of his vision. Drip irrigated gardens just south of the Sahara desert. That is my wife Lynn in the background. The most courageous woman I know. Driving on the back of a moto into the dusty bush with me... all to make a difference where few else will even go, even those with fancy 4*4 trucks with AC. 

WWW.manofpeacedevelopment.org

Respectable and Safe....

"Well, go on then. You don't want to be late. He doesn't approve of being late. Not that I ever was; in those days I was always on time. I was entirely respectable, and nothing unexpected ever happened."
(Bilbo Baggins- The Hobbit)

Little Good........!

"Do your little bit of good where you are. It's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." (Desmond Tutu)

Cautious Do Not Live!

"The brave may not live forever
but the cautious do not live at all."

I'm Bored.... Is Your Problem.

"Sometimes my kids come to me and complain: 'Daddy, I' m bored." I tell them, 'Sorry. You aren't bored. You're having a semiotic breakdown.' They then run to their mother, who rolls her eyes and comforts them with 'Don't worry.  Your father's just having one of those semiotic spells. He'll get over it.'
But I'm right. And I'm not going to get over it. When my kids are bored, the problem is not with life fatigue. The problem is not with life. The problem is with them. In a state of semiotic awareness, all of life is bathed in beauty and sacredness. When they get bored, they have entered a state of semiotic breakdown."

("Nudge". Len Sweet. pg 46-47)

Dire Effects Does Not Mean It Is Not True Or Even Good

A life lesson that is hard to digest, but certainly rings true in my life and experience. It seems to ring doubly true today as we just bought tickets to return to Mali. Yes, the Mali in West Africa that had a political coup and sees Islamic radicals taking over 50% of it's land mass. The place now being referred to as the "African Afghanistan".

Yesterday, when we informed people of our choice,
one person simply sent us a link to some "incident" that occurred in Mali that day. As if we are not aware. Yes, it was not good news, but there has been a lot of that. As if we do not have weekly conversations with locals and the few expat people still on the ground in Mali every day. It's not like we are unaware that there are risks. But the implication at every corner is.....'There is risk, so it's OK to bail Andy'. However, with 5 million in critical food shortage and 500,000 displaced people fleeing the north, this is where someone needs to be.

Richard Rohr sums it up well. Western society, and the western church too, have come to believe our peace, comfort, and 'at ease', is the right of all folks, and that God is in the business of assuring it happens for us. If it's hard, demanding, risky, it's not God's will, it can't be....

Glad I finally understand my comfort is not what life and "God's business" is about. Much of the meaningful things in my life are immersed in risk. Certainly, the best relationships, and most meaningful memories in my life, all trace their roots back to these contexts.  The soft contexts have forged mostly a shallow, "Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave", kind of relationships that lack any real depth and a nonexistent staying power and afford few lasting impressions and memories.
But, I suppose, it could be just me.

"Just because something might have some dire effects does not mean it is not true or even good.  Just because something pleases people does not make it true either."
(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Subverting The Norm

I can't express how ready I have been to shake up the norm in my life. Maybe that is why I'm here among a Muslim people in north west Africa.

"The best way of subverting the norm in the world, is by subverting the norm in ourselves." (Kent)

Aggressive Evangelism

We see people more as objects of our efforts, with preplanned outcomes. Outcomes, when not realized, cause us to drop people like a rag doll.
People are sick of church folks who's only invitation seems to be to some church event or other. Other than trying to recruit you to that, they don't seem to have much use for you.

"Evangelism as we know it hasn't worked. Either evangelism is so aggressive you want to get a restraining order, or else evangelism is so restrained you want to call it to order. Our strategies have been spectacularly useless at best, counterproductive at worst. We have lived through an exodus, but not of the biblical kind."

(Leonard Sweet. "Nudge". Pg 35)

So You Wanna Be a Missionary - Get a Job!

This article is just so on the money, in so many ways, I can't begin to express my thoughts on it. But, I recommend you share it with people looking abroad. People need life experience, not just "mission experience" to succeed here. There are certain cultural issues to working in such a place. However, sometimes we chalk too much up to "Cultural" issues or adjustments. A lot of what we deal with, what we attribute to "culture", is often just people like us needing to grow up in general. Lessons we need to learn EVERYWHERE, and anywhere we will land in life.

I see the same push in our church movement for ministry training. We are taking young men out of high school, putting them in an artificial environment of an Institutional training school, graduating them after four years only to have church leaders complain that the "kids" don't know anything. Why would they? They are still kids. They have a head full of theological doctrine, and life life of few experiences. They have not experienced the real world since they day they entered the theology institution. They lack life skills, relational skills,,,, not theology.....

Yet, there is this push to keep the kids in school longer, and push them through to a masters level as the new standard. All in the hopes they are "better trained" when they get out. So, now we have kids who are another $30,000  in school dept, being paid a pittance, who have added yet another two years of life in an artificial environment of a Theology school, and who STILL lack the people and relational skills. Things no school can teach, and no amount of time in school can compensate for the lack of. They need to be out there.

Sure, push for the Masters level as the new standard if you wish. All information is good. However, it will not fix the fact that these kids need help growing up and learning conflict resolution, and dealing with disgruntled coworkers, and difficult bosses. etc. They are not experts in life... so why treat them like they should be. That comes with life, time, and experience ONLY.  I would rather see the kids put out doing life after their BA. Let them learn life skills, and then come back ten years later for more schooling.  But they will then deserve better compensation too.

So, you wanna be a missionary...

Despite the fact that I have made my failings at being a missionary quite clear, younger folks still ask me for advice pretty often. It's like they go, “I have questions about being a missionary. Hmmm... I know! I'll ask the very worst one!” …. Ooookaay.

So here's the Very Worst Missionary's Very Best Advice for Missionarying:

Are you ready for it? 

Get a job!

Then? Work the hell out of that job for three years.

Honestly, this is the best advice I can give you.

I know. So disappointing.

But here's why:

A “real job” - yes, that's what people in ministry call work outside of the church. Scary! - anyway, a real job will teach you things you'll need to know in the mission field. Important stuff, like work ethic, sustainability, productivity, and value.

A real job can expose you to real conflict management (and not the shitty “Christian” kind they'll teach in missionary training. Honestly. Our track record at dealing with conflict is pretty horrible).

A real job will teach you to live on a real budget. Because if you say to your real boss, “Hey, can I have some more money for a new car this week?” They'll say “Um...No.” And then you'll have to save your money, like a normal person, and buy the car later. Or not buy the car. … I know. It's cRaZy!

A real job will help you learn not to be an entitled, self-righteous bunghole. Because if you act like that at a real job, they will kick your ass to the curb.

A real job will help you understand time management. Because, your real schedule will not likely allow you to spend three hours every Friday afternoon with your friends or your kids, - even if you call it “discipleship” on Facebook. Actually, that reminds me, your real job won't let you call any time you spend on Facebook “work”. Not “support development”, not “communication”, not “team building”... Nope. No matter how you say it, Real Job does not approve.

A real job will allow you to support a missionary. Yeah. You should know how that feels.

But, most important?... A real job is a real mission field. So learn some freakin' respect.

And the other thing I tell people is this (and it's a doozie!):

Understand the difference between wanderlust and

 wanting to be a missionary.

The world is AMAZING! God's creation is simply ASTOUNDING! It should be seen and respected. But there is a big difference between seeing and serving. And the Church does not exist to fulfill your desire to see the world.

I totally believe that this planet, this place God spoke into being, deserves our reverence. If it's calling out to you, then go, and revere it with all your heart! But don't use the Church to pay your way. And don't use your participation in weak or broken ministry as a means to collect stamps in your passport.

Get a job. Save your money. And then take a trip to somewhere incredible. Trust me, your tourist dollars will be greatly appreciated!

And this is where I bail, because, beyond what I've just said, I think the journey to becoming a missionary is highly unique and personal. It's spirit-led, prayer dependent, driven by hard work and perseverance, and it's not always awesome or easy.

If you still want to be a missionary, then maybe it's time for you to find a healthy ministry (which means asking lots of good questions and being mindful of the answers) and ask them how you can get on board with what they're doing.

That's my advice. ....What?! I never said it would be good advice. 

So, Blessings as you go. 

To work.

Aaaat a real job.  ;)

Humans On The Edge Teach Us The Most

"You can see perhaps what Jesus and Paul both meant by telling us to honor "the least of the brothers and sisters" (Matthew 25:40; 1 Corinthians 12:22-25) and to "clothe them with the greatest care." It is those creatures and those humans who are on the edge of what we have defined as normal, proper, or good who often have the most to teach us. They tend to reveal the shadow and mysterious side of things. Such constant exceptions make us revisit the so-called rule and what we call normal—and recalibrate!" (Richard Rohr. Calling Upward)

Wander......

"Not all who wander are lost" 

J. R. R. Tolkien

 

The Capital Of Africa Is?

"When I change planes in Dallas to fly to New York and then to Mali via Paris, I had been seated beside a friendly young woman who said she went to college in Dallas. She asked me where I was from. This question was getting more and more difficult to answer, but when I replied that I presently live in Africa, she exclaimed, "Africa! That's amazing. What's the capital of Africa?"
(Waiting For Rain: Life and Development in Mali, West Africa. Lewis Lucke. Pg 107)

Never Criticise The Church

Yep, the unpardonable sin is verbalizing anything  'analytical' (they would brandish the word "negative") about the whole enchilada.

"Jesus the Jew criticizes his own religion the most, yet never leaves it! Mature people are not either-or thinkers, but they bathe in the ocean of both-and. ( Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Simply Living And Useless Beauty

This insightful paragraph so describes my life up to my late 30's. I regret it now, much of what I worked so hard at, and for, were a wasted life of lost experiences and lost relationships.

Most 'things' don't matter. Do not serve institutions, their policy or structure. Love people, do them right, get to know them, spend meaningful time with them, just love them without the institutional agenda. 

"In our formative years, we are so self-preoccupied that we are both overly defensive and overly offensive at the same time, with little time left for simply living, pure friendship, useless beauty, or moments of communion with nature or anything."

(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

An Invitation From Your Soul!

Sigh.... ya.... that about sums it up for me. 

"What has led so many Peace Corps workers, missionaries, and skilled people to leave their countries for difficult lands and challenges? I would assume it was often a sense of a further journey, an invitation from their soul, or even a deep obedience to God." (Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Death & Dieing in Africa

He described the cycle and experience of death in an African Village very well.
"From time to time they went outside to check the sky and were chased back in by rain and wind that chilled them to their roots.
And there was death. Cruel, shameless, opportunistic death. This was its finest hour. It needed no stronger cues than these, hunger and foul weather, to begin vigorously attacking anyone whose grip on life was subject to dispute. It curled up in the laps of the very old. It lay uninvited on reed mats next to the newly born. It joined families inside huts and watched nagging coughs turn to advanced bronchitis and finally pneumonia. Back and forth through the rain it followed people with intestinal illnesses to outdoor latrines. "Go away, death," the nervous faces of the sick and elderly said. "The rain can't last forever. Harvest time is soon. Give us time."
But it didn't go away. Death took more villagers during this time of year than any other. The trail, the weak, the afflicted—many just couldn't make it. After each death, women members of surviving families took to the village paths, walking slowly, announcing their loss in the public manner of African custom. They filled the villages with a dark falsetto of song and wailing, of anguished screams and narrative. At night, funeral drums became a constant feature, their weird and surging sounds evoking macabre images like those in medieval paintings of lost souls plunging into nothingness.
During this season of heavy rains, the number of people dying in the villages made me shake. It wasn't just the cries. There were bodies. I saw bodies being buried in family compounds, a piece of wood or a stick cross placed at the head of each new mound. Nothing had prepared me for this. All my life death had been an abstraction, something that occurred infrequently, out of sight, in hospitals. It usually attacked relatives who were extremely old anyway, reducing the pain of the loss. But now I watched people bury their dead, of all ages; every day, all around me. I had seen thousands of murders on television before coming to Africa and had dined at a daily banquet of war and famine in the news. But to see death next door, to hear its attendant cries wafting through your windows, to see real-life people stop breathing and real-life survivors sob with sorrow - that is something else entirely."
(Mike Tidwell. The Ponds of Kalambayi. Pg 120,21)

Going To Hell With Ted

Most powerful article i have read in a long time. It illuminates perfectly our greatest need in evangelical circles.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2012/december-online-only/going-to-hell-with-ted-haggard.html

I didn't plan to care about Ted Haggard. After all, I have access to Google and a Bible. I heard about what he did and knew it was wrong. I saw the clips from the news and the HBO documentary about his life after his fall. I honestly felt bad for him but figured it was his own undoing. When the topic came up with others I know in ministry, we would feign sadness, but inside we couldn't care less. One close friend said he would understand it more if Ted had just sinned with a woman. I agreed with him at the time. It's amazing how much more mercy I give to people who struggle with sins I understand. The further their sin is from my own personal struggles, the more judgmental and callous I become. I'm not proud of that. It's just where I was at that time in my walk. But that all changed in one short afternoon.

Eating our own

A while back I was having a business lunch at a sports bar in the Denver area with a close atheist friend. He's a great guy and a very deep thinker. During lunch, he pointed at the large TV screen on the wall. It was set to a channel recapping Ted's fall. He pointed his finger at the HD and said, "That is the reason I will not become a Christian. Many of the things you say make sense, Mike, but that's what keeps me away."

It was well after the story had died down, so I had to study the screen to see what my friend was talking about. I assumed he was referring to Ted's hypocrisy. "Hey man, not all of us do things like that," I responded. He laughed and said, "Michael, you just proved my point. See, that guy said sorry a long time ago. Even his wife and kids stayed and forgave him, but all you Christians still seem to hate him. You guys can't forgive him and let him back into your good graces. Every time you talk to me about God, you explain that he will take me as I am. You say he forgives all my failures and will restore my hope, and as long as I stay outside the church, you say God wants to forgive me. But that guy failed while he was one of you, and most of you are still vicious to him." Then he uttered words that left me reeling: "You Christians eat your own. Always have. Always will."

Change of heart

He was running late for a meeting and had to take off. I, however, could barely move. I studied the TV and read the caption as a well-known religious leader kept shoveling dirt on a man who had admitted he was unclean. And at that moment, my heart started to change. I began to distance myself from my previously harsh statements and tried to understand what Ted and his family must have been through. When I brought up the topic to other men and women I love and respect, the very mention of Haggard's name made our conversations toxic. Their reactions were visceral.

Please understand, this isn't just my experience. Just Google his name and read what is said about him in Christian circles. Most Christians would say God can forgive him, but almost universally people agree that God will never use him again. When I pressed the question, "Why can't God still use Ted?" I was dismissed as foolish or silly. Most of these people got mad and demanded I drop the subject. Perhaps they saw something I was missing, but this response seemed strange. After all, I reasoned, Jesus restored Peter after he denied Christ. That's a pretty big deal. And what about the Scripture that teaches us that the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable? So I felt I needed to meet Ted for myself. So I had my assistant track him down for a lunch appointment. I live outside Denver and he was living in Colorado Springs, a little over an hour away. Perfect!

We exchanged a few emails and agreed on a date and a restaurant. I took two men from my staff, and we met him for lunch. All the way there, I quietly played out in my head how he would act. Would he be reserved? Sad? Angry or distant?

Surprised by friendship

In less than five minutes of talking with Ted, I realized a horrible truth—I liked him. He was brutally honest about his failures. He was excited that the only people who would talk to him now were the truly broken and hurt. During our conversation a lady approached him. He instantly went into "pastor mode" and cared for her. Deep inside God was teaching me that true salvation is an ongoing process. We spent two hours together and decided to stay in touch. I began to call and ask him church-related questions. He possesses a wealth of wisdom. He even has a growing church in the very city that knows him for his biggest failures. I thought I had it tough as a church planter! But God is causing his church to really grow. I met his wonderful wife, Gayle. She is a terrific teacher of grace and one of my heroes. When I grow up, I want to be Gayle Haggard. And so I became close friends with Ted Haggard.

But then the funniest thing started happening to me. Some Christians I hung out with told me they would distance themselves from me if I continued reaching out to Ted. Several people in my church said they would leave. Really? Does he have leprosy? Will he infect me? We are friends. We aren't dating! But in the end, I was told that my voice as a pastor and author would be tarnished if I continued to spend time with him. I found this sickening. Not just because people can be so small, but because I have a firsthand account from Ted and Gayle of how they lost many friends they had known for years. Much of it is pretty coldblooded. Now the "Christian machine" was trying to take away their new friends.

It would do some Christians good to stay home one weekend and watch the entire DVD collection of HBO's Band of Brothers. Marinate in it. Take notes. Write down words like loyalty, friendship, and sacrifice. Understand the phrase: never leave a fallen man behind.

Where's the love?

I had a hard time understanding why we as Christians really needed Ted to crawl on the altar of church discipline and die. We needed a clean break. He needed to do the noble thing and walk away from the church. He needed to protect our image. When Ted crawled off that alter and into the arms of a forgiving God, we chose to kill him with our disdain. I wrestled with my part in this until I got an epiphany. In a quiet time of prayer, Christ revealed to me a brutal truth: it was my fault. We are called to leave the 99 to go after the one. We are supposed to be numbered with the outcasts. After all, we are the ones that believe in resurrection. In many ways I have not been aggressive enough with the application of the gospel. My concept of grace needed to mature, to grow muscles, teeth, and bad breath. It needed to carry a shield, and most of all, it needed to find its voice.

Grace must pick a side in the light of day, not just whisper its opinion in the shadows and dark places where we sign our name Anonymous. When a leader falls and then repents, grace picks a side. Grace is strong. Grace is a shield to those who cannot get off the battlefield. Grace is God's idea. Like a spiritual Switzerland, we stay in our neutral world where we can both forgive and judge but never get our hands dirty caring for the fallen. And when we don't pick a side, the wrong side gets picked for us. Crematoriums are more sanitary than hospitals. Let's change this!

Of course, I understand that if a person doesn't repent there is not a whole lot you can offer. But Ted resigned, confessed, repented, and submitted. He jumped through our many hoops. When will we be cool with him again? When will the church allow God to use him again? It's funny that we believe we get to make that decision.

The Ted Haggard issue reminds me of a scene in Mark Twain's, Huckleberry Finn. Huck is told that if he doesn't turn in his friend, a runaway slave named Jim, he will surely burn in hell. So one day Huck, not wanting to lose his soul to Satan, writes a letter to Jim's owner telling her of Jim's whereabouts. After folding the letter, he starts to think about what his friend has meant to him, how Jim took the night watch so he could sleep, how they laughed and survived together. Jim is his friend and that is worth reconsideration. Huck realizes that it's either Jim's friendship or hell. Then the great Mark Twain writes such wonderful words of resolve. Huck rips the paper and says, "Alright then, I guess I'll go to hell."

What a great lesson. What a great attitude. I think of John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." Maybe it's not just talking about our physical life. Perhaps it's the life we know, the friends we have and lose. Maybe I show love when I lay down the life we have together to confront you on a wrong attitude or action. Maybe we show no greater love than when we are counted with people who others consider tainted. Becoming friends with Ted was a defining moment in my life, ministry, and career. Sure, I lost a few relationships, but I doubt they would have cared for me in my failures. So really, I lost nothing. If being Ted's friend causes some to hate and reject me—alright then, I guess I'll go to hell.

Dance in Mali, West Africa.

This is just so Malian..... Glad to be flying back to Mali, West Africa next week.

Mali, West Africa. Beauty and Diversty

Fishing on the famous Niger river in Mali. This is a long, long way from where Man of Peace Development is working. However, Man Of Peace Staff had an opportunity to visit the river region last February. The fisherman told us that with lack of rain the last few years, more and more farmers buy a net and try their hand at fishing, and it is really depleting the river stocks. So it is a difficult ti

me for the BOZO (ethnic group) fisherman too.

If we only had a river like this in our region for farming.......But that is why Man of Peace is there. Simple gravity feed drip irrigation does not require massive volumes of water to grow a garden.

50% of Mali is actually in the Sahara desert. However, it is a beautifully diverse country. We are excited to return to work in Mali next week. The political situation in the north is an ongoing concern. However we are able to return to Sikasso region at this time.

Theological Education (Seminary) Must Change?

Nelson/Fitch - Theological Education in the 21st Century from Medri Kinnon Productions on Vimeo.

Ministers Are Not Only Those in "Staff Positions"

Not all Theological graduates need to seek church "staff positions". There are many ways to be do ministry. Bi vocational, or even working in other fields full time.  Great conversation here. 

Nelson/Fitch - Theological Education in the 21st Century from Medri Kinnon Productions on Vimeo.

Ministers - Pastors Have More To Loose In Canada

Ministers of the church have absolutely no respect or relevance in the Canadian ethos outside their church. 
Pastors in Post-Christendom from Medri Kinnon Productions on Vimeo.

Where is the church?

This Cartoon just about says it all....about church.
where is the church?

Doing Life Different!

"Spiritual direction begins when people are helped to walk more slowly, talk more slowly and eat more slowly." (Francis de Sales)

As a person with a "get it done" personality.... I am beginning to see that running ahead in my life has not always accomplished what I wanted.  

Sadly, much of my teaching, that path leadership takes today, keeps us hyper active, and exhausted, as we try to accomplish our...... "something"...... However, in the end, we have little time left for the people we love, or want to love. We excel at heaping activities and events on people. To "accomplish" all this stuff we feel needs to "get done", we can side step the greater things. I know have. 

Jesus said the highest activities in life are to love God and to love others.  Amazing how we depersonalize that from time with others, to creating programs and doing stuff "to" them, and it keeps us busy planning and executing.

This quote exposes a truth. 

• If we walk more slowly, we are not ticking off lists, and spending more time on the journey with people walking beside.

• If we talk more slowly, we say less, and we are listening more.

• If we eat more slowly, we turn eating from "energy" consumption to fuel another task, and turn it into table time with a few precious others.

I hope the next half of my life reflects this better.

AJR lost in a West African Journey

When People Refuse To Affirm Your Journey!

"Those are the things I remember, the things instilled in my life, that you've got to follow God where ever he is drawing you to go, even if the people you care about don't understand what you are doing. And I think that is a hard lesson. I think a lot of people have been so schooled into wanting peoples approval, that it is very hard to be obedient to God when the people you care about can't affirm what you are doing. And yet, where else do you go? What else do you do except follow the Lord, and trust the Lord with the consequences of what that is....."  (Wayne Jacobsen in a conversation with his 90 yr old dad on a podcast Nov, 2012)  

Being the first, and only people working among an all Islamic people in North Africa, this resonated. Fortunately, none of my family, and few of my friends (not many), have ever actively discouraged me personally. But almost everyone around me wants to hear very little about "over there". People don't actively discourage us, but they do oh so little to actively encourage us either.  What to be the best fried you can be to a person who lives and works internationally? Just let them talk, and listen, listen, and listen. They have to get the stories out for time to time or they will pop, trust me. The story has to be told from time to time. And if you ask questions, and listen, you will be offering a healing favor  to them

"Is it safe to go?", is the most common question, and it's the most annoying too.  Yes,,50% of the country was taken over by Al Qaeda and a Jehad called Anser Dine.  Is it "Risless"? No, it never is, but why run away when those affected most need you more than ever.... all in the demand for perfect and complete safety.  But out region is "relatively" secure.

Anyway, most people can't fathom doing such a "risky" thing, so avoid the subject all together. We are deafened by their silence about the whole thing. But I'm OK with that. I've moved past that maybe 10 yrs ago.

The quote, also resonated about my spiritual journey, my "ministry"' in Canada too. Stepping out of traditional paid ministry, the customary way of doing church. Turning from managing the heavy  attractional programing/special event model of church, refusing to get bogged down in local church management as a CEO, and avoiding a structure that makes the Sunday event (and a few other time slots) the main thing that needlessly consumes most of our resources (Both time and money) to maintain while burning out those who sustain it, and grows them little in return, and that reduces members to mere spectators and "volunteers" seen as recruits to fill the predefined slots in the "vision" of we "Leader(s)", in exactly the way we envision it. (INHALE)



Yes, few of the people living that dream can affirm what I am doing here in Canada either. How can church and kingdom work be so simple, so economical, and so easily repeated by ordinary people?  (I'll not even mention....so NOT burdensome....oops, that slipped out). Is this for real? For most, the church is only what we do, and how we do it, there in that building on Sunday. They simply can't fathom any other viable manifestation of the body. They have known, nor seen anything else.

Yes it's hard, and lonely, to obey God when others can't affirm the journey. 

So, yes, this conversation really resonated.
AJ

Staying On A Path Going Nowhere

"Most of us in the first half of life suspected that all is not fully working, and we are probably right...We do not want to embark on a further down journey if it feels like going down, especially after we have put so much sound and fury into going up.... The supposed achievements of the first half of life have to fall apart and show themselves to be wanting in some way, or we will not move further. Why would we?.... Scott Peck's major insight is his best selling book, 'The Road Less Traveled'. He told me personally ones that he felt most western people were just spiritually lazy. And when we are lazy, we stay on the path we are already on, even if it is going nowhere.".
(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Living On The Outskirts

"I found out that God wanted me to live on the outskirts, abide on the fringe of this world so I could see things more clearly and hear His voice better. And I wasn't alone. I met other Fringe-Dwellers who had the same passions and heart that I did. I became an outcast for God, allowing myself to be more vulnerable so He could shine through me better"

Emma Jones, and recuperating MK.

It's about how I feel, and I am a grown adult. 

Techno Savy Church! But What About The Relationship?

 In my Previous post "Two Stories About Church. Technology and Relationships", I shared how we are often out of touch with building relationships,  and the use of what has become simple every day technology as a great tool to get our job done.

Well the following Sunday I was speaking at another church, in another city. They had a digital welcome center, the screen told me that they have free WiFi, and gave me instructions on how I could down load a U-Bible app, so I could look up scriptures "live" using the WiFi.

Of course there were all the modern instruments and PowerPoints and lighting...... and Hip old me used my Tablet to speak from.... and once again, " No trees were harmed in the development or delivery of this message.!"

Oh the show was good, the speaker meh? ;-) But what about the connection with each other?
Really the service was engaging, but PEOPLE were not engaging any different, before and after the service, than the chunky chipped cell phone church crew, that shuts down digital bible usage. But in all fairness, we got to chat with  sweet young girl who is in foster care.

I've said it from the "Pulpit", and unfortunately I have heard it parroted most places since. I am ashamed of my self....

We have told people that church is not about "you" it's about "Him". What you get out of it does not matter, what matters is what He get's out of it (Ringing a bell yet? Sure it does!).

All sounds good and holy, but it's wrong... Look at the theme of "One Another" and tell me our gatherings are not about "You" and "others" too.  The It's just the churches way to keep your discontent quiet. Just don't stir the pot here.  "It's just you!" It's certainly not anyone else in this place, it's just simply, plainly, always, and ONLY, you. You just need to change your attitude, pray and read your bible more.

See we have made the gathering the central main thing, the main focus of most o our tie and efforts. Despite the fact that the words "Worship Service" should never be put together, and never are in the NT. The word Worship is never used to describe a gathering of people...... eeeemmmmm Wa? Yes, we don't even use the word "Worship" or "Church" in any true biblical way.  If you say you "go" to church, you have just taught someone a false meaning of the biblical word. Check it.

I have discovered three things about these kinds of "Corrective" statements

Orphanages Create More Orphans

In Canada, Orphanages have been exposed for the sad, poorly funded, managed, and sometimes (All too often) abusive structures they are. This kind of institution is just not capable of being a healthy experience for the children put in them. Rather support a family structure., where children are integrated into a family.

I find it amazing that in Canada we have shut down all such institutions. Because the truth has been revealed about how harmful such an environment is for young children. Yet, we Canadians continue to fund the building of these very same institutions in other underdeveloped countries.

Despite the greatest staff, greatest intentions, orphanages harm a child's healthy development. They grow up to be people with NO family.... a kind of "tribless" people. Also, I was reading an IRIN article recently that claimed that the majority of children in orphanages are not parent-less anyway. Many are there simply because parents or community think the child might have a better life in the "nice" home, with three meals and possibly an education (Not always the case). Which is often more than what they can offer the children. What, if the funding was directed to those desperate families DIRECT, orphanage "attendance" would drastically decline. Without the presence of a local orphanage, the parents just carry on and keep their kids and do the best they can, and the community continues to take them. For the truly homeless, we can place these children with loving families who will care for them. This is the model we should use.

Yet Christian churches continue to blindly support the building of such things overseas, without question, without thinking about what we learned here at home. In the last twenty years, have we not read the articles, and heard the hundreds of Radio interviews with people who were raised in these institutions?


I link a very good TED video about this subject. I don't expect it will actually change what we do. Institutions always justify their existence, because we are always doing it better... "more righter"...... or we are "Christians" so our good motivations change the experience for the kids...
Orphanages, in my opinion need to close, for the health and well being of Children. Children need family, even foster or adoptive families.

"Often charity to help the poor attracts more people into poverty. One example I have noticed takes place when North Americans try to care for the needs of orphans in cultures different from our own. If you build really nice orphanages and provide good food and a great education, lots more children in those places become orphans. I see this happen all over. When we attempt to eradicate poverty through charity, we often attract more people into “needing” charity. It is possible to create need where it did not exist by projecting our standards, values and perception of need onto others. "
-- Steve Saint