In West Africa the Agni Kids would chant "Blauf-way" the Jula "Tu-Ba-Boo" as we entered a village or courtyard. This practice is ancient I was told. For generations the kids were taught to shout this as a warning during the slave trade, "There's white people here!".
However, now it's more of a curious interest as they shout this with a huge smile because, frankly they do not see many white people in some of these rural forest villages. Kids, even the odd older woman, will come up and rub your arm to feel your skin, especially the blond red hair on my arm. However, "blaufway!" is still chanted every time in every village.
The Agni often tell their small kids; "If you're not good, the white man will come and take you away." So many infants have a horrible fear of us when we first begin working in a village. Mothers coming by with wide eyed babies to see their first white person. Often the baby's begin to ball hysterically clawing and clutching to their mother.
There was a time when for six months I had not seen a single western person or spoken English to anyone other than my wife and kids. One day I passed another white guy on the highway in the car and I wanted to turn and chase him down just to talk. Not because he was white, rather because chances where much greater that we shared a similar cultural background and language, therefore making it easy to just chat with full understanding. Cross-cultural communication is not easy because it involves more than just words of a language, but culture and world-view exchange. Anyway, for the first time in my life I think I kind of understood just a little bit what it might feel like to be black in an all white place, even though I was white. Though here I am given a more prominent status by default. Regardless, this experience did help me understand better the desire to belong. To feel at home. To feel welcome. To belong. I'm glad to say that over time in Africa I eventually did come to "belong" and be accepted too. What a precious gift they gave me.
However, now having lived it, there are some things that always weigh a bit heavy on my heart. I'm generally a happy person, but now there are things I can't put out of my mind very long that many of my western friends and neighbors can. Makes me feel "foreign" at times even though I am suppose to be "Home". In Africa I'm a "Blaufway", at home, well I am just not "at home" anymore. People don't "get" me. I know why this is in my head. I have become what they call a Bi-cultural person and the feeling of being at home never really comes anywhere anymore.
Don't feel sorry for me, this does not mean I am sad. No it's deeper, a sense of not being "at home" in either place now. I was told by an older wiser bi-cultural person that this "at home" feeling will now only be satisfied in the place made for us. Near the throne of heaven where every tribe, language, people, and nation will stand with us around the throne. Sigh! Home!
Submitted by Andy Rayner
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