Tandem Déjà Vu

Have you arrived at the place in your life when you received your parental shock? The day you grow up, get married, have kids and finally realize you're sounding just like your Mom or Dad?

Not long ago, my son Ted and I (14 yrs) were heading to the capital to spend a few days attending a lecture at Maritime Christian College. We left early in the morning so we could stop for breakfast in Summerside, which is about an hour enroute. I don’t recall what I said to Ted when we got back into the car after our father son breakfast. However, I remember shaking my head and commenting; “Ted, do you realize that what I just said to you is exactly the same phrase my dad said to me? I mean, I'm using the exact same wording my dad used with me.” We laughed together, and Ted concluded that he would probably say the same thing to his kids when he gets older and has a family of his own.

However, the best parental déjà vu I have ever experienced was a tandem déjà vu.

One Sunday, one of my sons was being unusually “owly”, ornery, uncooperative and disruptive in the worship service. My son would not respond to anything we attempted in the pew to get him in line; it was one of THOSE days. I finally had to remove him from the service to deal with the behavior in private. So out the church door onto the front step we went for his talking to.

The usual pattern of a talk, I’m sorry, and tears, all followed their normal sequence. However, the hilarious part was that my dear older brother, Harold, was already out there on the step with one of his children. I, finished up my duty, and we both stood there deeply exasperated and disgusted as we silently stared off into space waiting for the kids to calm down from their talking to. Eventually, I looked over to my brother and said; “Bring back memories?” He smiles and said; “Ya! Sure does”. We both remember standing on the same step for the same “talking to”; only we were on the receiving end way back then.

We realized in tandem, we had become like our parents. We both stared contemplatively off into space a little longer, and when I finally reached for the door handle to go in, he gathered up his son behind me, and we both went back in with an understanding, and a realization.