I've heard leaders that talk about how many "Hours" they put in. Also listened to church Elders criticizing their hired staff for what they perceived as a lack of "Sacrifice".
"I put pressure on myself to live in such a way that people want to be with me.........During our first church plant in Portland, I came home from a normal ministry day, and while I was having a cup of coffee with my wife, she began to challenge me on my crankiness. It wasn’t just about me being an ogre that day. She seemed to be saying that there was a deeper problem with my level of stress and how it was being played out in our family and marriage. Adding to her list of concerns, she mentioned that my oldest daughter, who was six at the time, had said, “Dad sucks!” Now, I know where the word comes from, and how it’s been generalized down to simply mean “Dad’s no fun,” but it still seemed a bit overstated. So I called all the kids in for a family meeting. I asked them, “Mom says that you guys think I suck. Am I really that bad?” They all nodded and four-year-old McKenna said, “Yep, you suck.”
Cheryl later communicated that she married me because I used to be the “fun guy.” But that since we had been in pastoral ministry, I didn’t really turn her crank any more. She said, “I’m not going to divorce you, but just so you know, I’m not really enjoying living with you.”
As a pastor and a parent, I know the stats are stacked against my kids wanting to follow my faith. Somehow the leaders of the good news have become consistently bad news to their spouses and children, and I feel the most pressure to model the Kingdom from within my own house. If I’m not an inspiring person, I may not even influence my own family, let alone people outside the church. So what did I do? I began to “model up” and change. (Still working on it, by the way.)"
(Tangible Kingdom. Hugh Halter, pg 77. 2008, Jossey-Bass)
These guys talk about how, "I work full time and do all this church stuff after Hours" so why do they expect.... la.... de.... da...!
One church leader was singing this very song to me one day, and I bit my tongue. All I did was listen and watched his body language as he went on. He was not smiling about his service, was obviously tired and "burnt out" himself, and it was clear to me his "Sacrifice" was giving him little joy in the journey.
I wanted to ask him, "How's that working for you?" Would you really want to serve the same poison to your minister so he can be as burned out and joyless as you are about service? Boy, his wife and kids will thank you for that. Did you know that when church leaders kids leave home, ministers kids are more likely to be not involved in church than the average church kid.
The sure biblical Joy, and the occasional fickle fun, has been sucked right out of ministry and leadership for far to many today.
What's up with that?
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