I'm Bored.... Is Your Problem.

"Sometimes my kids come to me and complain: 'Daddy, I' m bored." I tell them, 'Sorry. You aren't bored. You're having a semiotic breakdown.' They then run to their mother, who rolls her eyes and comforts them with 'Don't worry.  Your father's just having one of those semiotic spells. He'll get over it.'
But I'm right. And I'm not going to get over it. When my kids are bored, the problem is not with life fatigue. The problem is not with life. The problem is with them. In a state of semiotic awareness, all of life is bathed in beauty and sacredness. When they get bored, they have entered a state of semiotic breakdown."

("Nudge". Len Sweet. pg 46-47)

Dire Effects Does Not Mean It Is Not True Or Even Good

A life lesson that is hard to digest, but certainly rings true in my life and experience. It seems to ring doubly true today as we just bought tickets to return to Mali. Yes, the Mali in West Africa that had a political coup and sees Islamic radicals taking over 50% of it's land mass. The place now being referred to as the "African Afghanistan".

Yesterday, when we informed people of our choice,
one person simply sent us a link to some "incident" that occurred in Mali that day. As if we are not aware. Yes, it was not good news, but there has been a lot of that. As if we do not have weekly conversations with locals and the few expat people still on the ground in Mali every day. It's not like we are unaware that there are risks. But the implication at every corner is.....'There is risk, so it's OK to bail Andy'. However, with 5 million in critical food shortage and 500,000 displaced people fleeing the north, this is where someone needs to be.

Richard Rohr sums it up well. Western society, and the western church too, have come to believe our peace, comfort, and 'at ease', is the right of all folks, and that God is in the business of assuring it happens for us. If it's hard, demanding, risky, it's not God's will, it can't be....

Glad I finally understand my comfort is not what life and "God's business" is about. Much of the meaningful things in my life are immersed in risk. Certainly, the best relationships, and most meaningful memories in my life, all trace their roots back to these contexts.  The soft contexts have forged mostly a shallow, "Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave", kind of relationships that lack any real depth and a nonexistent staying power and afford few lasting impressions and memories.
But, I suppose, it could be just me.

"Just because something might have some dire effects does not mean it is not true or even good.  Just because something pleases people does not make it true either."
(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Subverting The Norm

I can't express how ready I have been to shake up the norm in my life. Maybe that is why I'm here among a Muslim people in north west Africa.

"The best way of subverting the norm in the world, is by subverting the norm in ourselves." (Kent)

Aggressive Evangelism

We see people more as objects of our efforts, with preplanned outcomes. Outcomes, when not realized, cause us to drop people like a rag doll.
People are sick of church folks who's only invitation seems to be to some church event or other. Other than trying to recruit you to that, they don't seem to have much use for you.

"Evangelism as we know it hasn't worked. Either evangelism is so aggressive you want to get a restraining order, or else evangelism is so restrained you want to call it to order. Our strategies have been spectacularly useless at best, counterproductive at worst. We have lived through an exodus, but not of the biblical kind."

(Leonard Sweet. "Nudge". Pg 35)

So You Wanna Be a Missionary - Get a Job!

This article is just so on the money, in so many ways, I can't begin to express my thoughts on it. But, I recommend you share it with people looking abroad. People need life experience, not just "mission experience" to succeed here. There are certain cultural issues to working in such a place. However, sometimes we chalk too much up to "Cultural" issues or adjustments. A lot of what we deal with, what we attribute to "culture", is often just people like us needing to grow up in general. Lessons we need to learn EVERYWHERE, and anywhere we will land in life.

I see the same push in our church movement for ministry training. We are taking young men out of high school, putting them in an artificial environment of an Institutional training school, graduating them after four years only to have church leaders complain that the "kids" don't know anything. Why would they? They are still kids. They have a head full of theological doctrine, and life life of few experiences. They have not experienced the real world since they day they entered the theology institution. They lack life skills, relational skills,,,, not theology.....

Yet, there is this push to keep the kids in school longer, and push them through to a masters level as the new standard. All in the hopes they are "better trained" when they get out. So, now we have kids who are another $30,000  in school dept, being paid a pittance, who have added yet another two years of life in an artificial environment of a Theology school, and who STILL lack the people and relational skills. Things no school can teach, and no amount of time in school can compensate for the lack of. They need to be out there.

Sure, push for the Masters level as the new standard if you wish. All information is good. However, it will not fix the fact that these kids need help growing up and learning conflict resolution, and dealing with disgruntled coworkers, and difficult bosses. etc. They are not experts in life... so why treat them like they should be. That comes with life, time, and experience ONLY.  I would rather see the kids put out doing life after their BA. Let them learn life skills, and then come back ten years later for more schooling.  But they will then deserve better compensation too.

So, you wanna be a missionary...

Despite the fact that I have made my failings at being a missionary quite clear, younger folks still ask me for advice pretty often. It's like they go, “I have questions about being a missionary. Hmmm... I know! I'll ask the very worst one!” …. Ooookaay.

So here's the Very Worst Missionary's Very Best Advice for Missionarying:

Are you ready for it? 

Get a job!

Then? Work the hell out of that job for three years.

Honestly, this is the best advice I can give you.

I know. So disappointing.

But here's why:

A “real job” - yes, that's what people in ministry call work outside of the church. Scary! - anyway, a real job will teach you things you'll need to know in the mission field. Important stuff, like work ethic, sustainability, productivity, and value.

A real job can expose you to real conflict management (and not the shitty “Christian” kind they'll teach in missionary training. Honestly. Our track record at dealing with conflict is pretty horrible).

A real job will teach you to live on a real budget. Because if you say to your real boss, “Hey, can I have some more money for a new car this week?” They'll say “Um...No.” And then you'll have to save your money, like a normal person, and buy the car later. Or not buy the car. … I know. It's cRaZy!

A real job will help you learn not to be an entitled, self-righteous bunghole. Because if you act like that at a real job, they will kick your ass to the curb.

A real job will help you understand time management. Because, your real schedule will not likely allow you to spend three hours every Friday afternoon with your friends or your kids, - even if you call it “discipleship” on Facebook. Actually, that reminds me, your real job won't let you call any time you spend on Facebook “work”. Not “support development”, not “communication”, not “team building”... Nope. No matter how you say it, Real Job does not approve.

A real job will allow you to support a missionary. Yeah. You should know how that feels.

But, most important?... A real job is a real mission field. So learn some freakin' respect.

And the other thing I tell people is this (and it's a doozie!):

Understand the difference between wanderlust and

 wanting to be a missionary.

The world is AMAZING! God's creation is simply ASTOUNDING! It should be seen and respected. But there is a big difference between seeing and serving. And the Church does not exist to fulfill your desire to see the world.

I totally believe that this planet, this place God spoke into being, deserves our reverence. If it's calling out to you, then go, and revere it with all your heart! But don't use the Church to pay your way. And don't use your participation in weak or broken ministry as a means to collect stamps in your passport.

Get a job. Save your money. And then take a trip to somewhere incredible. Trust me, your tourist dollars will be greatly appreciated!

And this is where I bail, because, beyond what I've just said, I think the journey to becoming a missionary is highly unique and personal. It's spirit-led, prayer dependent, driven by hard work and perseverance, and it's not always awesome or easy.

If you still want to be a missionary, then maybe it's time for you to find a healthy ministry (which means asking lots of good questions and being mindful of the answers) and ask them how you can get on board with what they're doing.

That's my advice. ....What?! I never said it would be good advice. 

So, Blessings as you go. 

To work.

Aaaat a real job.  ;)

Humans On The Edge Teach Us The Most

"You can see perhaps what Jesus and Paul both meant by telling us to honor "the least of the brothers and sisters" (Matthew 25:40; 1 Corinthians 12:22-25) and to "clothe them with the greatest care." It is those creatures and those humans who are on the edge of what we have defined as normal, proper, or good who often have the most to teach us. They tend to reveal the shadow and mysterious side of things. Such constant exceptions make us revisit the so-called rule and what we call normal—and recalibrate!" (Richard Rohr. Calling Upward)

Wander......

"Not all who wander are lost" 

J. R. R. Tolkien

 

The Capital Of Africa Is?

"When I change planes in Dallas to fly to New York and then to Mali via Paris, I had been seated beside a friendly young woman who said she went to college in Dallas. She asked me where I was from. This question was getting more and more difficult to answer, but when I replied that I presently live in Africa, she exclaimed, "Africa! That's amazing. What's the capital of Africa?"
(Waiting For Rain: Life and Development in Mali, West Africa. Lewis Lucke. Pg 107)

Never Criticise The Church

Yep, the unpardonable sin is verbalizing anything  'analytical' (they would brandish the word "negative") about the whole enchilada.

"Jesus the Jew criticizes his own religion the most, yet never leaves it! Mature people are not either-or thinkers, but they bathe in the ocean of both-and. ( Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Simply Living And Useless Beauty

This insightful paragraph so describes my life up to my late 30's. I regret it now, much of what I worked so hard at, and for, were a wasted life of lost experiences and lost relationships.

Most 'things' don't matter. Do not serve institutions, their policy or structure. Love people, do them right, get to know them, spend meaningful time with them, just love them without the institutional agenda. 

"In our formative years, we are so self-preoccupied that we are both overly defensive and overly offensive at the same time, with little time left for simply living, pure friendship, useless beauty, or moments of communion with nature or anything."

(Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

An Invitation From Your Soul!

Sigh.... ya.... that about sums it up for me. 

"What has led so many Peace Corps workers, missionaries, and skilled people to leave their countries for difficult lands and challenges? I would assume it was often a sense of a further journey, an invitation from their soul, or even a deep obedience to God." (Richard Rohr. Falling Upward)

Death & Dieing in Africa

He described the cycle and experience of death in an African Village very well.
"From time to time they went outside to check the sky and were chased back in by rain and wind that chilled them to their roots.
And there was death. Cruel, shameless, opportunistic death. This was its finest hour. It needed no stronger cues than these, hunger and foul weather, to begin vigorously attacking anyone whose grip on life was subject to dispute. It curled up in the laps of the very old. It lay uninvited on reed mats next to the newly born. It joined families inside huts and watched nagging coughs turn to advanced bronchitis and finally pneumonia. Back and forth through the rain it followed people with intestinal illnesses to outdoor latrines. "Go away, death," the nervous faces of the sick and elderly said. "The rain can't last forever. Harvest time is soon. Give us time."
But it didn't go away. Death took more villagers during this time of year than any other. The trail, the weak, the afflicted—many just couldn't make it. After each death, women members of surviving families took to the village paths, walking slowly, announcing their loss in the public manner of African custom. They filled the villages with a dark falsetto of song and wailing, of anguished screams and narrative. At night, funeral drums became a constant feature, their weird and surging sounds evoking macabre images like those in medieval paintings of lost souls plunging into nothingness.
During this season of heavy rains, the number of people dying in the villages made me shake. It wasn't just the cries. There were bodies. I saw bodies being buried in family compounds, a piece of wood or a stick cross placed at the head of each new mound. Nothing had prepared me for this. All my life death had been an abstraction, something that occurred infrequently, out of sight, in hospitals. It usually attacked relatives who were extremely old anyway, reducing the pain of the loss. But now I watched people bury their dead, of all ages; every day, all around me. I had seen thousands of murders on television before coming to Africa and had dined at a daily banquet of war and famine in the news. But to see death next door, to hear its attendant cries wafting through your windows, to see real-life people stop breathing and real-life survivors sob with sorrow - that is something else entirely."
(Mike Tidwell. The Ponds of Kalambayi. Pg 120,21)

Going To Hell With Ted

Most powerful article i have read in a long time. It illuminates perfectly our greatest need in evangelical circles.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2012/december-online-only/going-to-hell-with-ted-haggard.html

I didn't plan to care about Ted Haggard. After all, I have access to Google and a Bible. I heard about what he did and knew it was wrong. I saw the clips from the news and the HBO documentary about his life after his fall. I honestly felt bad for him but figured it was his own undoing. When the topic came up with others I know in ministry, we would feign sadness, but inside we couldn't care less. One close friend said he would understand it more if Ted had just sinned with a woman. I agreed with him at the time. It's amazing how much more mercy I give to people who struggle with sins I understand. The further their sin is from my own personal struggles, the more judgmental and callous I become. I'm not proud of that. It's just where I was at that time in my walk. But that all changed in one short afternoon.

Eating our own

A while back I was having a business lunch at a sports bar in the Denver area with a close atheist friend. He's a great guy and a very deep thinker. During lunch, he pointed at the large TV screen on the wall. It was set to a channel recapping Ted's fall. He pointed his finger at the HD and said, "That is the reason I will not become a Christian. Many of the things you say make sense, Mike, but that's what keeps me away."

It was well after the story had died down, so I had to study the screen to see what my friend was talking about. I assumed he was referring to Ted's hypocrisy. "Hey man, not all of us do things like that," I responded. He laughed and said, "Michael, you just proved my point. See, that guy said sorry a long time ago. Even his wife and kids stayed and forgave him, but all you Christians still seem to hate him. You guys can't forgive him and let him back into your good graces. Every time you talk to me about God, you explain that he will take me as I am. You say he forgives all my failures and will restore my hope, and as long as I stay outside the church, you say God wants to forgive me. But that guy failed while he was one of you, and most of you are still vicious to him." Then he uttered words that left me reeling: "You Christians eat your own. Always have. Always will."

Change of heart

He was running late for a meeting and had to take off. I, however, could barely move. I studied the TV and read the caption as a well-known religious leader kept shoveling dirt on a man who had admitted he was unclean. And at that moment, my heart started to change. I began to distance myself from my previously harsh statements and tried to understand what Ted and his family must have been through. When I brought up the topic to other men and women I love and respect, the very mention of Haggard's name made our conversations toxic. Their reactions were visceral.

Please understand, this isn't just my experience. Just Google his name and read what is said about him in Christian circles. Most Christians would say God can forgive him, but almost universally people agree that God will never use him again. When I pressed the question, "Why can't God still use Ted?" I was dismissed as foolish or silly. Most of these people got mad and demanded I drop the subject. Perhaps they saw something I was missing, but this response seemed strange. After all, I reasoned, Jesus restored Peter after he denied Christ. That's a pretty big deal. And what about the Scripture that teaches us that the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable? So I felt I needed to meet Ted for myself. So I had my assistant track him down for a lunch appointment. I live outside Denver and he was living in Colorado Springs, a little over an hour away. Perfect!

We exchanged a few emails and agreed on a date and a restaurant. I took two men from my staff, and we met him for lunch. All the way there, I quietly played out in my head how he would act. Would he be reserved? Sad? Angry or distant?

Surprised by friendship

In less than five minutes of talking with Ted, I realized a horrible truth—I liked him. He was brutally honest about his failures. He was excited that the only people who would talk to him now were the truly broken and hurt. During our conversation a lady approached him. He instantly went into "pastor mode" and cared for her. Deep inside God was teaching me that true salvation is an ongoing process. We spent two hours together and decided to stay in touch. I began to call and ask him church-related questions. He possesses a wealth of wisdom. He even has a growing church in the very city that knows him for his biggest failures. I thought I had it tough as a church planter! But God is causing his church to really grow. I met his wonderful wife, Gayle. She is a terrific teacher of grace and one of my heroes. When I grow up, I want to be Gayle Haggard. And so I became close friends with Ted Haggard.

But then the funniest thing started happening to me. Some Christians I hung out with told me they would distance themselves from me if I continued reaching out to Ted. Several people in my church said they would leave. Really? Does he have leprosy? Will he infect me? We are friends. We aren't dating! But in the end, I was told that my voice as a pastor and author would be tarnished if I continued to spend time with him. I found this sickening. Not just because people can be so small, but because I have a firsthand account from Ted and Gayle of how they lost many friends they had known for years. Much of it is pretty coldblooded. Now the "Christian machine" was trying to take away their new friends.

It would do some Christians good to stay home one weekend and watch the entire DVD collection of HBO's Band of Brothers. Marinate in it. Take notes. Write down words like loyalty, friendship, and sacrifice. Understand the phrase: never leave a fallen man behind.

Where's the love?

I had a hard time understanding why we as Christians really needed Ted to crawl on the altar of church discipline and die. We needed a clean break. He needed to do the noble thing and walk away from the church. He needed to protect our image. When Ted crawled off that alter and into the arms of a forgiving God, we chose to kill him with our disdain. I wrestled with my part in this until I got an epiphany. In a quiet time of prayer, Christ revealed to me a brutal truth: it was my fault. We are called to leave the 99 to go after the one. We are supposed to be numbered with the outcasts. After all, we are the ones that believe in resurrection. In many ways I have not been aggressive enough with the application of the gospel. My concept of grace needed to mature, to grow muscles, teeth, and bad breath. It needed to carry a shield, and most of all, it needed to find its voice.

Grace must pick a side in the light of day, not just whisper its opinion in the shadows and dark places where we sign our name Anonymous. When a leader falls and then repents, grace picks a side. Grace is strong. Grace is a shield to those who cannot get off the battlefield. Grace is God's idea. Like a spiritual Switzerland, we stay in our neutral world where we can both forgive and judge but never get our hands dirty caring for the fallen. And when we don't pick a side, the wrong side gets picked for us. Crematoriums are more sanitary than hospitals. Let's change this!

Of course, I understand that if a person doesn't repent there is not a whole lot you can offer. But Ted resigned, confessed, repented, and submitted. He jumped through our many hoops. When will we be cool with him again? When will the church allow God to use him again? It's funny that we believe we get to make that decision.

The Ted Haggard issue reminds me of a scene in Mark Twain's, Huckleberry Finn. Huck is told that if he doesn't turn in his friend, a runaway slave named Jim, he will surely burn in hell. So one day Huck, not wanting to lose his soul to Satan, writes a letter to Jim's owner telling her of Jim's whereabouts. After folding the letter, he starts to think about what his friend has meant to him, how Jim took the night watch so he could sleep, how they laughed and survived together. Jim is his friend and that is worth reconsideration. Huck realizes that it's either Jim's friendship or hell. Then the great Mark Twain writes such wonderful words of resolve. Huck rips the paper and says, "Alright then, I guess I'll go to hell."

What a great lesson. What a great attitude. I think of John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." Maybe it's not just talking about our physical life. Perhaps it's the life we know, the friends we have and lose. Maybe I show love when I lay down the life we have together to confront you on a wrong attitude or action. Maybe we show no greater love than when we are counted with people who others consider tainted. Becoming friends with Ted was a defining moment in my life, ministry, and career. Sure, I lost a few relationships, but I doubt they would have cared for me in my failures. So really, I lost nothing. If being Ted's friend causes some to hate and reject me—alright then, I guess I'll go to hell.